The Myth of the Soulmate: Redefining Love, Marriage, and Fulfillment Through a Biblical Lens
What if everything you believed about finding “the one” was never actually biblical—or even helpful? In this candid and often hilarious conversation, Mike Erre and co-host Andy explore the deeply ingrained myth of the soulmate, confronting cultural narratives around romance, marriage, and self-fulfillment in both the secular and Christian world. Drawing extensively from the Genesis account of creation and the fall, they unpack how our expectations of marriage often lead us astray and suggest a more grounded, Christ-centered vision for love and relationships rooted in self-sacrifice, partnership, and transformation.
Using insights from Genesis 1-3 and thinkers like Stanley Hauerwas and Tim Keller, the episode dives into how Christians are called to resist Hollywood tropes and embrace the difficult but rewarding journey of covenant love, where two imperfect people learn to reflect God’s love for humanity. Whether you're dating, married, or spiritually curious, this episode challenges assumptions and invites deeper reflection on how we love and who we expect to change us.
Key Takeaways: • The Biblical Portrait of Marriage – Genesis presents male-female relationships as “ezer kenegdo”—equal partners who are both alike and opposite, designed to co-rule creation. • Fallout from the Fall – How disobedience distorts divine design, turning mutuality into power struggle and fulfillment into frustration. • Soulmate is a Myth – There is no “one perfect person” who will complete you; true fulfillment comes not through compatibility but through sacrificial love and growth. • Marriage as Covenant, Not Contract – Christian marriage is less about individual happiness and more about embodying God’s covenantal love through service, vulnerability, and resilience. • When You Change, So Does Marriage – You will always marry the “wrong” person because both people in a marriage will change, evolve, and, ultimately, disappoint. The key is growing together through it. • Redefining Fulfillment – Letting go of self-centered expectations in marriage opens the door to deeper joy, healing, and transformation.
Resources Mentioned: • Genesis 1–3 – The foundation for understanding male-female relationships and the impact of sin on marriage. • Stanley Hauerwas – Ethicist who wrote extensively on the myth of soulmate ideology and the self-fulfillment ethic in marriage. • Tim Keller – The Meaning of Marriage, for a gospel-centered view of commitment and relational growth. • Psalm 121 – The word “ezer” (helper) ascribed to God, offering profound implications for gender equality in partnership. • Ephesians 5 – Paul’s vision for mutual submission and Christ-centered love in marriage.
Join us in rethinking relationships and returning to a more redemptive vision of marriage. Subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and follow Voxology on social media to keep diving into tough questions and meaningful discussions.
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Music in this episode by Timothy John Stafford
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