If you are not a gifts person, you will likely confuse gifts with rewards. It’s like telling a kid if you finish all your homework, your reward is an hour of tv. That is a conditional reward. If you have to earn it, it’s not a gift. That’s why a paycheck is not a present. Have you heard of a selfish gift? That’s the gift you benefit from. It’s buying a tv for your wife who rarely watches tv. Or buying someone a top of the line food processor but they don’t really like to cook. Just because it costs a lot to make your life easier doesn’t make it a gift. I used to have a boyfriend who liked to buy me designer jeans and sunglasses. He liked seeing me wear them more than I liked actually wearing them.  I decided to teach him a lesson so I bought him a surfboard travel bag for his favorite hobby and encouraged him to take a surf trip. I don’t surf so not only would I not get anything out of it, it would be time spent apart. He did indeed take that surf trip and then vowed never to travel without me again because who wants to leave behind such a great girlfriend!

 

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