#73 | Understanding Covert Bullying: A Parent's Guide to Support LGBTQ Youth (LGBTQ Safety, Emotional Support & Ally Education)
The focal point of this podcast episode revolves around the often insidious nature of covert bullying and the essential role that parents play in creating a safe and supportive environment for their LGBTQ teens. I emphasize the importance of fostering a home atmosphere where children feel comfortable expressing themselves, even amidst the complexities and challenges they may face in their social interactions. Throughout our discussion, we dissect the differences between overt and covert bullying, highlighting the subtle ways in which the latter can manifest, often hidden from adult observation. Furthermore, I share strategies for parents to establish open lines of communication, ensuring that their children feel empowered to share their experiences without fear of judgment. By promoting understanding and compassion, we aim to equip parents with the tools necessary to effectively support their children during these critical formative years.
We often separate our political, socioeconomic, gender, and racial identities from our mental health. Today I am joined by Silvia M. Dutchevici, and she introduces us to the concept of Critical Therapy. Critical Therapy takes a deep analysis of the power and invites the political into the therapy room. Silvia shows us how our mental health is affected by so many of these outside factors that aren’t often considered in the therapeutic process. We don’t live in a bubble and must be open to these tough areas of conversation. Join Silvia and me as we break down the walls and open up safe places to have hard conversations.
Do not miss these highlights:
01:36 – Introduction to Silvia and Critical Therapy
05:01 – Mental Health struggles after covid
07:05 – How mental health issues are impacted by our place in society
08:28 – Just trying to get back to “normal”, and why that isn’t helpful for mental health
12:16 – The impact of the pandemic on working mothers
13:23 – Should we have it all? Work-life balance in the feminist movement
14:47 – Parenting that shares the power with our children
17:10 – How we can learn from our kids
19:29 – Understanding gender identity as a parent
23:30 – How we defer to the winners
25:43 – Be open to listening and have questions when your children approach you about coming out
27:07-Difference between critical theory and other therapy
29:20- How do we talk about the issues when there isn’t the struggle
30:51- What is toxic masculinity
33:12- Learning to have more nuanced conversations
35:01- Our society will change, starting with us
38:00- Having difficult conversations with your therapist
42:10- Being aware of how we talk to our children and the messages we are sending them
48:24- How to bring in critical therapy to your therapy sessions.
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
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At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.
If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
About our guest:
Silvia M. Dutchevici, MA, LCSW, is the president and founder of the Critical Therapy Institute. A trained psychotherapist, Dutchevici (pronounced “doot-KAY-vitch”), created critical therapy on perceiving a need for the theory and practice of psychology to reflect how race, class, gender, and religion intersect with psychological conflicts. She is a founding board member of Black Women’s Blueprint and a member of the Physicians for Human Rights Asylum Network, where she conducts psychological evaluations documenting evidence of torture and persecution for survivors fleeing danger in their home countries. She trained at the Bellevue/NYU Survivors of Torture Program, the Parent-Child Center of the New York Psychoanalytic Society, and the New York Freudian Society. Dutchevici has a master’s degree in social work from New York University and a master’s degree in psychology from the New School, and a bachelor’s degree in religious studies and political science from Fordham University. She has lectured and presented throughout the country on critical therapy, including at Fordham and NYU, and has been featured in the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, The Guardian, International Business Times, and Women’s Health.
How to connect with Silvia:
Takeaways:
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space at home for LGBTQ teens, which allows them to express their emotions without fear of judgment.
- Covert bullying, often hidden from adults, manifests in subtle ways, making it crucial for parents to recognize and address it effectively.
- Parents are encouraged to engage in open dialogues with their children about identity, allowing for exploration and understanding rather than imposing expectations.
- Critical therapy is highlighted as a transformative approach that integrates awareness of power dynamics and encourages authentic relationships in therapeutic settings.
Links referenced in this episode:
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen explores connection, courage, and community for every concerned parent, mom, or ally navigating fear, grief, and bigotry with hope, resilience, and empathy. Through open-minded education, inclusive parenting guidance, and advocacy for mental health and safety, we support LGBTQ youth and stand for human rights and social justice. More Human. More Kind. empowers listeners to shift their mindset, embrace activism and allyship, and lead with kindness, healing, and purpose.
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