Do you know your reproductive desires? That’s a fancy way of asking do you want to have kids or not? Perhaps you’re still figuring it out and that’s okay. It’s the one thing you can’t really compromise on in your life or in a relationship. You can’t have and raise half a child or hit pause as they grow up. So do you want kids and how many? Are you willing to go to extraordinary measures like fertility treatments, egg or sperm donation, surrogacy? How about adoption? I decided that I could see a really happy life with kids. I could also see a really happy life without kids. Having kids is not required for my joy or an essential part of my identity. I don’t want a child badly enough to be a single parent. And I don’t want to freeze my eggs. That pretty much leaves surrogacy and adoption on the table but that would only be if my partner wanted kids badly enough that we’d be willing to commit our resources to it. Kids don’t get to choose whether they will be born but you get to choose parenthood or not. 

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