Ep.183 I Deciding to Take Initiative: What Happens When Men Step Up with Ryan Michler
Is it possible to become the man you never had as a role model?
Ryan Michler didn’t grow up with a blueprint for manhood—but that didn’t stop him from building one. He and Sanger talk about why so many men feel aimless and how stepping up—not faking it—is the way out. They talk about the appeal of distractions like sports and alcohol, the discomfort of starting from zero, and the kind of fulfillment that comes from actually doing hard things.
KEY TOPICS
- Why men substitute purpose with stats, screens, and manufactured intimacy.
- What happens when young men admire risk—and older men discourage it.
- How men get mocked both for not knowing—and for trying to learn.
- Why it’s better to take a first step than wait for certainty.
CHAPTERS
00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decisions in Life & Business
00:50 – Learning by Failing on a Ski Trip
03:18 – Meet Ryan Michler: Founder of Order of Man
04:20 – Growing Up Without a Present Dad
06:48 – Can You Still Learn Manhood as an Adult?
08:27 – Why Men Hide What They Don’t Know
09:14 – The Catch-22 of Men Asking for Help
10:51 – Why Not Knowing Feels Like a Threat
11:38 – How Ego Blocks Growth
13:43 – Finding Mentors & Letting Go of Pride
16:08 – Why Ryan Walked Away from His Firm
18:26 – Taking the Leap Toward Autonomy
20:53 – Rebuilding on Your Own Terms
23:09 – Why Advice Often Reflects Regret
25:33 – Vested Interests & Biased Guidance
27:46 – Seeking Deeper Purpose in Friendships
29:49 – Choosing Relationships Intentionally
31:03 – Escaping Into Sports When Life Lacks Purpose
34:42 – False Meaning in Porn, Alcohol, & Ego
37:02 – What Are You Escaping From?
39:22 – Balance Is a Constant Act
41:45 – Why Fulfillment Beats Happiness
44:09 – You Don’t Find Purpose—You Build It
46:25 – Podcasting & the Birth of Order of Man
48:50 – Try What Interests You (Without Attachments)
51:11 – Ryan’s Battle Plan: 4 Areas of Purpose
53:13 – Decision Tip: Find Someone Who’s Done It
53:21 – Where to Connect with Ryan Michler
54:15 – Key Takeaways
54:50 – Message from the Producer
CONNECT WITH US
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Shawn’s Instagram: @shawn_d_smith
Sanger’s Instagram: @sangersmith
Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.
SANGER’S BOOK: A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact
SHAWN’S BOOK: Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want
MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION?
At Decidedly Wealth Management, we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy.
LEARN MORE: www.decidedlywealth.com
CONNECT WITH RYAN MICHLER
Website: https://orderofman.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmichler & https://www.instagram.com/orderofman/
Order of Man Podcast: https://orderofman.com/podcast-2/
Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men: https://store.orderofman.com/collections/planners-and-journals/products/sovereignty-signed-copy?_gl=1*of6zq8*_gcl_au*NDMyNjcwMTcuMTc0MjMyNzQ5Ng..*_ga*MTY3ODY4MTk5LjE3Mzg1OTM0NTU.*_ga_MHSG4VQ94E*MTc0MjQxNjk5NC40LjEuMTc0MjQxNzQwMS4wLjAuMA
Ryan Michler unapologetically harnesses the authentic masculinity modern culture has lost. He challenges men to reject complacency, reclaim clarity, and boldly lead at home, in business, and in their communities through Order of Man.