In this episode I chat with therapist Brenna Brooks about the concept of a window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is when our nervous system is functioning well. We can handle stress and big emotions. Our pre frontal cortex is fully engaged so we can make good decisions, have good judgement and not be controlled by our stress or trauma.
When we shift out of the window of tolerance we go to either hyper arousal or hypo arousal. Our nervous system is sensing threat so it goes into fight or flight mode to protect us. We have zero control when something is going to send us to hyper/hypo arousal, it is simply a survival mechanism of our amygdala in our brain that is trying to protect us. Often for people who have been through trauma their brain sees everything as a threat so their window of tolerance is small.
Some characteristics of hyper arousal are:
Anger, melt downs, running away, irritability, difficult sleeping, panic attacks, self destructive behaviors
Characteristics of hypo arousal are:
Numbing out, sleeping a lot, depression, flat feelings, feeling trapped, helplessness.
When we can start to be aware of our own window of tolerance and notice when we shift out of it, we can notice our emotions, behaviors and feelings within our body. Our nervous system is how we shift out of our personal window of tolerance, but the good news is, it is also how to get back there! The good news is that through learning about and utilizing tools, going to therapy and being aware of our body and nervous system, we can expand the capacity of our window of tolerance.
Grounding ourselves is an important skill to learn.Grounding is a self-soothing skill to use when you are having a bad day or dealing with a lot of stress, overwhelming feelings, and/or intense anxiety. It means going back to our body.
Here are some tools to use to use when you are in hyper arousal:
- Wave or box breathing (listen to hear more about what that is)
- Imagining a safe calming place to go like the beach, a favorite spot in your home, nature etc and closing your eyes and putting yourself there
- Putting lotion on the top of your hand, noticing it there, rubbing it in novel and new ways.
- utilizing your 5 senses, notice what you smell, hear, see and touch
Tools for hypo arousal:
- Novel, child like movement. Put on your favorite dancing song from childhood or teenage years and get up and dance.
- Stretching
- Yoga
- Using pressure points
- put your hands in ice cold water
- go for a walk
The key is to create safety in our body, within ourselves so our nervous system knows we are safe. The body keeps the score of trauma and stress AND it is also the solution to healing.
Resources to learn more: