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Eps 115: Solo show - Exploring trust and surrender as I navigate all there is to learn while raising a teen

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens
Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens
Episode • Oct 24, 2017 • 44m

Content:

  • The tension of being a parent educator WHILE IN THE EXPERIENCE of parenting
  • Parenting for the long term…
  • Keeping in mind brain development
  • Mistakes are opportunities for learning
  • Everyone should have a voice
  • Relationship matters
  • Kindness, firmness and trust
  • Bumps up against the mainstream idea of reward/punishment model
  • My own experience of punishment/consequences as a teen
  • Noticing the societal pressure of “she should pay for her mistakes” while also noticing that we have a really good relationship and are exploring her choices together
  • All we can do is increase the likelihood that our children will grow to be responsible, respectful members of society
  • In the process of learning to make choices, our children will make bad choices
  • I know I am not alone in this rub
  • We want our children to feel as though we are our safe harbor
  • Surrender is so complex… or maybe just the depth is profound
  • GRACE: workshop for women through boldlyembodylife.com
  • If trust is our intention, then we have to start with trusting ourselves
  • We then can evoke trust in our relationships
  • Then our teens can lean into trusting themselves (and getting it wrong sometimes)
  • The design of the universe is bigger than me, bigger than my child, and we are all going to be okay – might as well trust that God has our back
  • Trusting what I don’t know, what I can’t know, what I am still on the path to understanding
  • Fear grips the inside of my body, my energy tightens up – shorter breath, tight belly
  • “When fear is present, the teacher is in the room.” – Krista Petty Raimer
  • Events/ experiences are an invitation for me to evoke what I want more of in my relationship with my daughter
  • Neutral/ Think Tree – feeling our feet, grounding into our body, top of our body is open, flexible, available
  • Finding neutral is not about the absence of anything, but about the availability of everything (thank you Mary Jo!)
  • Neutral allows space for relationship with our children
  • The most powerful tool we have for influencing the behavior is the relationship we cultivate and nurture with them.
  • Lisa Damour – swimming pool analogy
  • There is flow and impermanence to the cycles of connection/disconnection that show up
  • Find your people that are going through similar experience and hold a similar parenting style to share raw and vulnerably
  • We are practicing all the time – either our auto pilot OR something new and different
  • Being intentional allows us to GENERATE more of what we want into our life!

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