I just wanted to talk about the iris today. A chill, colorful muscle donut that controls how much light hits your retina and makes you look good doing it. But no. UnitedHealthcare had to show up first—again—with a story so dark it makes retinal necrosis look like a fairy tale. We're talking Do Not Resuscitate orders getting denied by algorithms and patients dying because no human was watching.

Then we finally pivot to the iris: how it works, how it fails, why it looks different in everyone, and what happens when people decide to change their eye color on purpose (spoiler: don’t). I also touch on laser procedures, night vision contacts, LASIK myths, and iridology—which is basically astrology for your eyeballs. All that and a retinal wiring rant, because I can’t help myself.

Takeaways:

• UnitedHealthcare might be setting a new low.
  When your life is being managed by an algorithm that’s literally ignoring your DNR order, we have officially lost the plot.
• The iris is not just decoration.
  It’s a muscle. It’s photoreactive. It’s a vibe. And it’s doing way more work than it gets credit for.
• Thinking about cosmetic eye color surgery?
  Just don’t. It’s like installing a tinted windshield inside your eye. Except it doesn’t work. And might make you go blind.
• Night vision contact lenses are real(ish).
  But if you wear them in public, people are going to think you're either Batman or a sleep-deprived raccoon.
• Iridology is fake and somehow still thriving.
  It’s amazing how far you can go in life with confidence and zero science.

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out.

To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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