Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Ask what’s the story behind the story? One time my sister and I were having lunch. I ordered a dish for myself that was under 10 euros, totally within my budget. She ordered a main dish, an appetizer, something for her son and a dish to go. When the bill came, it was a bit over 40 euros. I asked myself what I could generously chip in for and offered, “How about I give you a 20?” She snapped, “So now you’re going to nickel and dime me!" The punishment did not fit the crime of offering a 20. What’s the bigger story? Emotionally, my sister had a tougher childhood than I did and money is one of her biggest triggers. It wasn’t easy but I reached hard for some compassion and spoke to her later when she had calmed down. I told her that I thought I was being generous by rounding up even though I was on a budget and had only ordered one thing. While she saw things differently, I was still able to have a calm discussion with her. But first I had to make room for a bigger story that wasn’t mine. 

 

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