In relationships, we often will slide into a form of comfort routine that is called the Roommate Syndrome
The Roommate Syndrome Where sparks go to smolder.
Why does this happen?
past disagreements
It is easier
Rejection free
How to rekindle the spark
Know what the roommate syndrome is about.
Start with the end in mind
Much like the word rekindle you have to use kindling Kindling is a small flammable material that you can use to grow an ember into a bonfire.
It starts with the small stuff
Rediscover the silly you
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Summary
Here is a detailed summary of the key points from this podcast episode:
The episode discusses the "roommate syndrome" that can happen in marriages, where the spark and passion fades over time. The host, Brian, explains that this happens because of our unintentional thoughts and mindsets over the course of a long-term relationship.
He notes that as couples get older, their sexual frequency and intensity naturally declines compared to when they were younger. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and the "roommate syndrome" setting in, where the relationship feels more like living with a roommate than an intimate partner.
The host explains that this happens for a few key reasons:
- Women tend to be more mentally/emotionally oriented when it comes to sex, needing more foreplay and mental preparation, compared to men who are more physically/visually driven. As life demands increase for women, sex can become lower on the priority list.
- Couples stop making the effort to reconnect and be playful/adventurous like they did when dating. Avoiding difficult conversations about the lack of intimacy also contributes to the problem.
- Men become afraid of rejection when consistently turned down for sex, so they stop initiating and turn to less fulfilling outlets like porn.
The host emphasizes the importance of open communication between partners to find solutions. This may involve compromises, exploring new ways of being intimate, and rediscovering the playfulness the couple had early in the relationship. He encourages men to focus on becoming the best version of themselves, which can reignite their wife's interest.
Overall, the episode highlights how the "roommate syndrome" is a common issue, but one that can be overcome through intentional effort, communication, and rediscovering the fun and silliness that used to characterize the relationship.