Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. One of the most difficult habits to overcome from my family dynamic growing up was the avoid and explode cycle. Without much in the way of support, our parents would often hold in whatever they could for as long as they could. They were busy learning English, trying to make ends meet and raising three small children in a new country. By the time something surfaced, everyone was often at wits end and a shouting match was the only way to diffuse the pent up frustration. I had to work really hard in my first serious relationship to break that terrible habit. I would say things during these temper tantrums that I would later regret. An argument was a way to release tension, not a way to work towards a solution. There is bound to be one habit or tendency that you learned from childhood that still informs how you respond today. This can be a bad thing if you repeat the worst tendencies, but it can be a good thing if you are motivated to change. Your change will be chosen by you and profound.

 

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