Since they're still fake shooting at Fat Orange Retard™️, Johnny, Reinhardt, Jack, and Æther take a look at presidential assassinations and assassination attempts. Were there any ACTUAL attempts or are they all simply theater...like the Ford Theater, where Lincoln was "assassinated"...or was he? How many shooters were on the grassy knoll? Did someone kill America's favorite fat orange cat, or was that just a president named Garfield? Why is there always banking legislation surrounding all of these events? Let's get /comfy/ and find out!

Panel: Johnny, Reinhardt, Jack, Æther

Creepypasta: The Third Wish, read by Jack