Have you ever heard the phrase, “boys will be boys?” Implying we have not considered a man’s biological reality. The problem is that is often the only biological reality that gets considered. Take your own poll of “bad sex” amongst men and notice if they are talking about passive partners or a boring experience. When a woman talks about “bad sex”, that could mean coercion. If the guy hadn’t pushed for it or alcohol hadn’t been involved, it wouldn’t have happened. Emotional discomfort from the level of physical intimacy outpacing the desired level of emotional intimacy to feel safe. Physical pain, including faking an orgasm to speed things along because she feels bad not letting the man have an orgasm even though things have gone dry for her. Not speaking up to voice her own needs for pleasure to protect a man’s ego as if he had a right to feel great about himself at her expense. Have you ever thought about how disturbingly comfortable the world is with the fact that women sometimes leave a sexual encounter in tears?

 

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