Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Today’s tool is about addressing a common trigger….criticism. Turn your criticism into a request. Criticisms are about a negative past. Requests are about a positive future. I was on a trip with an ex-boyfriend and we decided that we would prepare most of our meals to cater to his dietary restrictions and save some money. I'd wake up early and start making breakfast and packing our lunches before getting myself ready. Then after a full day of activities, we’d get back to the hotel where I’d unpack our containers for reuse and start prepping dinner. He would lay on the bed and watch tv. After a couple of days, I felt pretty resentful. I wanted to relax too. I thought he was being selfish but I knew he would get defensive if I criticized him. That evening while we got ready for bed, I asked what time he wanted to get up at. He said 8. I replied, “Every morning I spend half an hour prepping breakfast and lunch before I get ready. Can you add an extra 15 minutes to help me with the meal prep?” No blaming, shaming, name calling or criticizing the past, just a request for the future. He helped with meal prep everyday after that.

 

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