Four Lessons from Traver Boehm, the man with a year to live

Traver Boehm was the guest on episode 73 of the Uncomfortable is OK podcast. Traver is also an author, speaker, and transformation coach who consult with clients from around the globe, assisting them in vastly improving the quality of their human experience through One Day Stronger, Inc. With a background high level Executive Protection, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and professional athletics, his approaches to using pain and trauma as catalysts for positive change are pretty awesome.

Traver admits that he had it all, the wife, the job (owned a gym), the dog, the life, until all of a sudden it went away. He admits it was not an easy experience to go through, but it was a crucible, it was the most transformative period of his life. He could have continued on the conventional path, or he could follow the path of outlandish adventure. Traver decided on the latter and set about preparing his “year to live” project. You can hear all about that in the podcast episode.

I’ve put so much time and energy into following mainstream society that if I pull out now I might have to admit that all that time and energy might have been a waste

Traver came to this crossroads at this point in his life and made the uncomfortable decision to go against the norm. At times we get convinced to not explore something that we are curious about because it’s outside what we think society expects of us. This doesn’t have to be something completely outside the norm, like starting a podcast or going on a yearlong adventure. It can also be making a career change or other significant change in our day to day life. We perceive that if we change direction now, then all the time and energy we have put into a pursuit or career will have been wasted. This isn’t the case, that time and energy you have put in has got you to the point you are at today, it’s got you to the point where you are ready to make a change. It’s taught you valuable lessons, and likely valuable skills. It’s hard to challenge the story of what we think society expects from us — but is it harder to continue on with something that no longer fulfills us?

Sit and be present and be so thankful for the time you do have

Volunteering in a hospice showed Traver the impermanence of life, how death is a natural part of life, but one we push to the peripheries because it’s uncomfortable to think and talk about. I’m guilty of often worrying about the future, or ruminating on the past in a way that I occasionally miss opportunities in the present. We also live in a time where there have never been more distractions for our attention, we’re losing the skills of sitting and being present. This hit home to Traver when he just needed to sit with another human being the day before this man passed away. This simple act of sitting and being there for someone else with no distractions was incredibly powerful.