The ONE Thing Successful Dads Never Sacrifice (Not Money) | EP 032

Episode • Jan 17, • 22m

In this episode, discover the ONE thing that successful dads protect at all costs—and it’s not money or business growth. Phil dives deep into the silent killers of fatherhood and success, like decision fatigue, emotional detachment, and energy depletion, and explains why energy management is more critical than time management. Learn how to stop giving your family the "leftover" version of yourself, become a high-performance dad, and create a legacy of love and connection.

Welcome to The Phil Bohol Show, hosted by USMC veteran, mindset coach, sales expert, self-made entrepreneur, husband, and father, Phil Bohol. On this podcast, we don't just offer strategies — we offer a war cry, a call to arms, a challenge to rise, to break free from the shackles of mediocrity. You’ll learn the raw truth on how to break your limitations, scale your business to 7-figures, and level up every area of your life. Together, we won't just face challenges. We will crush them. Relentlessly.

(00:00) The Cost of Chasing Success

(01:06) The Importance of Presence

(05:02) Energy Management Over Time Management

(08:29) The Silent Killer: Emotional Detachment

(15:37) Morning Routines for Optimal Energy

(17:27) Protecting Your Family and Yourself

(21:03) Conclusion and Call to Action

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[00:00:00]

I lost my daughter's entire first year chasing money, trying to build business.

But what I actually sacrifice is worth 100x more, infinitely more.

And after coaching men from all over the world, all over the country, different business owners, from different industries, different sized families, I discovered something…

That you'll never be able to get back no matter how much

[00:00:30]

money you make a lot of men chase money business growth.

But at the end of that if you lose it if you lose the real things that are important in this life.

No amount of that money that you made the success that you got will ever be able to help you buy that back.

So in this video, I'm going to show you what successful dads do and what they protect at all costs.

Because I want you to always remember at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much money you make, it

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doesn't matter how big of a business you build, if you lose what's really important in this life.

So let's start off with, um, presence, being truly present here in the moment, and presents, gifts, that you give to your family, gifts that you give to your kids.

Now, the biggest thing is, you know, men like to think that, if I give you this one piece of attention, I had a long work day.

I've been hustling my ass off.

I've been building this

[00:01:30]

business, getting that money, whatever the case might be for the family.

If I give you an ounce of patience, that's a present.

That's a gift to you from me.

You're lucky that I'm giving you a gift.

That's how most men think.

What you have to learn how to do is learn how to manage emotions from a level where what happens in your day to day work environment, you don't bring that to the household.

You don't bring that to the home.

By doing

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that, you can separate business and your personal life, which is what's important.

You have to know when to leave shit at the door.

When you do that, and you're able to do that, you're able to be present.

So when I talk about presence, being here in the moment, being present for your family, that's what I mean.

It's not a gift, it's a state of being.

When you have presence for your family, when you have presence with your children and your marriage, you have a more meaningful life.

[00:02:30]

And that's what makes all the hustle and all the grind worth it.

So stop looking at the time, the patience, the attention you give right there in that one moment that you have as a gift, as a present to the people that you love most.

Because what it's gonna do, it's gonna create some sort of like resentment, right?

Some type of negative animosity feeling.

Because you think your time is so valuable and that

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you have to give like this short version of yourself, the business owner, CEO, entrepreneurial version of yourself to your kids when they're just asking you to play.

They're just asking you to eat with them, sit at the table with them.

Your wife's just asking for some time, not talking about business, not talking about nothing related to that, but to be with her husband.

Stop looking at that little amount of time, that one minute, two minute, five minutes.

Cause you might think it's a lot of time, but it's just moments.

Stop looking at that.

Like you're giving them a

[00:03:30]

present or a gift just because for that moment you were truly there.

So how do we do this though?

How do we ensure that you can live a life of presence being a state of being?

Um, a lot of people think that they, they don't have enough time, right?

We all have the same 24 hours in day.

Um, What you do.

In those times in that 24 hours is what means the most, right?

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yeah, you can have time management.

Abso-fucking-lutely everybody needs to learn how to manage their time so they can maximize on 24 hours because just cause you think you're hustling for 10, 14 hours in your business doesn't mean it's productive time.

That doesn't mean they're, they're income producing activities.

A lot of the time that's you doing me like miniature tasks that aren't going to create more money for the business, or you're distracting yourself with all of this busy work and you're not actually driving the business forward.

And so you got to ask yourself, “Well, if that's

[00:04:30]

happening, if I am not being able to be focused for that 10 14 hours I say I'm hustling, what's causing me to do that?

What most men don't realize is they have an energy problem.

They try to stretch themselves thin because the world says, well if you work 10 14 hours then you can wear this badge of honor that you're a hustler.

But people that do big business and make a lot of money, it's not about the amount of hours that you

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work, it's about what's put into those hours.

But.

In order to manage what's put into those hours, what you need instead of time management is called energy management.

Think about it like this, if you had 60 minutes, and you were depleted, you had nothing left in the tank, you're eating like shit, you're not working out, you don't feel connected to your family, everything is basically falling apart.

How lethal do you think you're going to be in that hour, that 60 minutes?

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Probably not that lethal.

Now, when you think about super energized, you feel the love from your children.

You feel the love from your spouse, your wife.

You feel connected to God.

You meditate.

You spend time with self.

You're fully, fully energized.

What do you think you can do in that 60 minutes?

That same hour that may be the version of you that's got nothing left in the tank.

What do you think the performance difference is going to be?

Very different.

You're going to,

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you're probably going to break records in that one hour high energy versus doing nothing meaningful in that one hour, no energy.

So now you think about one, two, three, four, five hours of work in that same space, you're going to get a lot of stuff done once you do four, five hours with nothing in the tank, you're not really getting anything done, but it's going to feel like you're putting a lot of time towards the business.

And energetically, what that's going to do is it's going to drain you because now you feel drained in your business, and when you

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try to go home, you've got nothing to really give to the kids or to your wife, because you're energetically completely drained, and because you're energetically completely drained, emotionally, you've got nothing to give anybody.

And your wife and your kids, they're going to want from you.

They're going to want emotions from you.

They're going to want connection.

But if you have no energy to emotionally connect because you don't have the bandwidth, what happens?

Well, your daughter, your son asks if you can play.

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And you get short with them, you get pissed off, you get angry, you snap at them.

Because you have no energy to emotionally respond properly to them.

You see what I'm saying?

When your wife, uh, tells you to take out the trash to do the dishes, you pop off on her?

Why?

Because, energetically, you got nothing left.

Energetically, it's going to feel like somebody's trying to take something more from you that you already don't have.

And so emotionally, you're going to put a guard up and now again, you're going to project that onto your wife.

And that's

[00:07:30]

what caused risks in people's marriage.

And what happens is for a lot of business owners, you don't see that as a lot of entrepreneurs, you don't see that you're doing that, but that's what's happening.

So being able to not just manage time, which again is very important. You have to be productive with your time.

Absolutely.

But in order to be productive with your time, you have to learn how to manage your energy.

Cause if I got an hour and you got an hour, I guarantee you I'm not performing somebody in that hour because I keep my state good.

I keep my energy good.

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And when you guys do that, what it allows you to do again, it allows you to, in business, know how many hours are the most optimal hours you should be hustling, because I can guarantee you in 10 or 14 hours, unless you're doing a push, you're not really being that productive in 10 or 14 hours of hustle.

A couple hours, three to five hours of hyper productivity will probably move the needle more than a whole week of 10 or 14 hour days basically going nowhere.

Over time, what does this do?

If you go the

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wrong path, which is where a lot of men go, it becomes a silent killer in your life.

What do I mean by that?

Well, it's this thing where men start to detach emotionally from family, from marriage, even from business.

You start to feel less purpose driven.

Every day kind of seems like meaningless, kind of doing the same mundane tasks, not really getting anywhere.

You don't get those dopamine hits from seeing the business grow or to see the next thing kind of evolve because you're doing all the tasks basically that

[00:09:00] aren't going to do anything for the business.

And the reason why this is a silent killer is because most men don't realize this is happening until years go by.

And then they look back on their life and they've put on a fucking dad bod, business hasn't grown, uh, they now have this huge gap inside of their marriage.

Their kids are older now and they don't really want to hang out with dad anymore because dad was never there when they were younger.

So why do we need dad now?

And the mindset, the mentality just completely starts to diminish, starts to go away.

This is

[00:09:30]

where mediocrity starts setting in, complacency starts setting in.

And you got to understand that when.

Time wise, you feel like you're constrained to the business.

Energetically, you feel depleted.

Emotionally, you feel depleted.

Your mind's gonna start going away.

You're not gonna have any space.

You're gonna be, you're gonna have like, what people call a short fuse.

Anything can break you mentally.

Any small thing that's out of place, If your wife asks you to

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take the trash or do the dishes at the wrong time, you'll pop off.

Your kids ask you to play, or to eat dinner with them at the table, or to brush their fucking teeth, you're gonna pop off on them.

Mentally, you're gonna be broken.

Mentally, you're gonna be weak.

And that's the silent killer because men don't realize when they start being reactive towards life versus proactive.

And again, it's a sequence of things that end up happening that lead to this.

And when that happens and mentally it's like you're fogged mentally,

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you don't really see the way forward.

You start to get what's called decision fatigue.

Decision fatigue is where there's a time difference between you knowing that maybe there needs to be a decision made to change the trajectory of your life or business and decision fatigue is, I, I, I don't make a decision fast enough because now I don't know if I can trust the decisions that I'm making because look at my track record.

So decision fatigue is the amount of time it takes for you to actually decide and pull the trigger on

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something and you get fatigued because you're not used to that volume of decisions because you've now made your word not mean anything, right?

When you say you're doing it for your family, you're building this business for your family, and then you take everything out on your family.

Subconsciously or unconsciously, there's a disconnect over time.

Your word starts meaning less to you and because your word means less to you when it's time to decide, make a hard call in business, make a hard call, have a hard conversation with your wife, have, have

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a true conversation with your kids and open, honest and vulnerable one.

That's probably hard for you.

It's going to be difficult for you to to make a decision on those things.

And because of this decision, see, again, it kind of, it's, it's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy, right?

Like, it's like, we know what needs to be done to get things to the next level, but because all of these variables start going depleted, depleted, depleted, depleted, we have no time.

Thus, we have no energy.

Thus, we have no emotional connection.

Thus, we have no mental, uh,

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uh, bandwidth.

Thus, we have decision fatigue.

Everything's depleted.

Everything's on E man.

What is that going to do to your family?

Having to get the leftover versions of you.

This is why a lot of people end up divorced.

This is why, um, a lot of broken families are there.

Men don't know how to step into themselves and break out of that shell, whatever it is.

Because, again, it takes courage to make massive

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decisions.

Especially after beatdown, and a beatdown of life and in business.

Cause shit's gonna happen boys.

I'm telling you right now, shit's gonna happen.

Um, and when you do that, not just in, in your business, you start living more of a mediocre life.

You may have felt this before, you start going on autopilot.

It's like, it's like you wake up just to know you're gonna hate your day.

And you go about your day just to do the bare minimum.

And you do the bare minimum because you feel like that's all you got in the tank.

And

[00:13:00]

because that's all you got in the tank, by the end of your workday, you feel completely depleted again.

And then you have to give the leftovers that you already don't have to your wife and to your kids.

And even that's pretty shitty for them.

And so you feel more like a shitbag, but you can't tell anybody about that because you're supposed to be strong.

And then you go to sleep unhappy just to wake up tomorrow to do the same thing over and over.

And the mind becomes a zombie.

And then you go on autopilot, and an autopilot can last a couple

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weeks, a couple months, for a lot of people, a couple fucking years.

And that's not good.

Because while you're figuring your shit out, your wife is deciding if she wants to stay with you or not.

Straight up.

Your kids are already deciding that they don't want you in their life when they're older.

You ever see kids that like never invite their parents out for like holidays, or to birthdays, or to family events, or special moments?

It's because those parents didn't prioritize those moments with them

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as children.

So it's not natural for those children now as adults, to want their parents to be part of that season in their life.

You see what I'm saying?

So, how you treat and create an environment for your kids now, no matter what the fuck you're doing in life and in business, is what's gonna get them to decide if they want you in their life down the road.

So.

How do we solve this?

How do we protect dads at all costs?

How do we make sure that dads don't go down this rabbit hole?

Especially if you want to just change your family's life.

Especially if you want to do right

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by your family.

That's usually the starting intention.

And then somehow it gets, like, lost.

Because that same man does not learn how to level up in his own personal development to be able to lead both in business and in family.

You gotta be able to lead not only just in business but also in your household.

It's very important.

And again, especially if you're cut from the same cloth, you may not have had somebody to teach you or guide you.

On how to do this.

Okay. But, but this is why you're listening to this

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now to make sure you're aware of the possible ramifications of continuing down this path that will not serve your business.

It won't serve your family.

It won't serve your marriage.

It won't serve your relationship with your kids.

So how do we protect you at all costs?

Well, number one, when we talked about in the beginning, right, we got, we got, um, time management, we got energy management, uh, we have mental management, then, um, we have decision management because fatigue and all that good stuff.

So let's start with time.

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The first thing we have to understand is there's only 24 hours in a day.

So what does that mean?

It's not that we can get more time.

There's no way to actually create more time, but there is a way to make time for things that we want to prioritize and again, it's gonna take a shift from you You're gonna have to get very fucking uncomfortable.

Especially if you've been rocking and rolling the way that you have been up until this point.

So first thing that you got to do is you’ve got to start prioritizing your energy in the mornings.

When you wake up, don't be looking at your phone.

Don't be

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scrolling through social media.

Don't be checking your emails.

Don't be checking slack.

Don't be doing the work stuff.

The moment you wake up, if your first instinct is to check your phone and start catching up on work, you're wrong.

You have to optimize your energy levels.

What do we do?

Well, number one,

You gotta be journaling.

You gotta get your thoughts, the good, the bad, the fucking ugly, on paper.

Get it out of your mind.

Clear the mind in the morning.

Journal.

A lot of people think this is woo woo, and a lot of people teach it. Woo woo is

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fuck.

And they tell you that's all you gotta do.

I'm just telling you to optimize energy.

That's what's recommended.

You also pray to God.

Meditate.

Spend time in stillness reflection of self.

That's what you should do in the morning that create, um, more energy for you, more mental space, more clarity.

It gives you a baseline of how to start your day, how to operate throughout your day.

And that sets the tone, how you start your mornings every day.

Is what sets the tone for the rest of the day.

So just keep that

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in mind.

So you got to optimize what that looks like.

And if that means waking up 30 minutes earlier, an hour earlier than what you normally do to get that time in before the kids wake up before your wife's up, whatever the case might be, get it done.

Because if you don't get it done, then you can't do the next thing.

So first we create time for you.

We create space for you.

You make time for you.

That's the most important thing, okay?

Because if you are the vessel, and you got nothing to give, then your business doesn't grow, your family doesn't grow, nothing else grows.

So you gotta give the vessel time, space, and energy.

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What that does now, is it helps you look at things from a compartmentalization process, right?

So, when we think about emotions and energy, so, we get you good.

You start operating at a higher frequency.

Now, we have to understand your emotion and your energy.

Throughout the day.

So let's say that we find your optimal time of how much time you got to be hustling not that 10 to 14 Hour bullshit where you know, you're not even being productive.

Figure out how much time is actually productive time making money for your business.

[00:18:00]

Then you can start to allocate “Well, at this point in my day, I know I have this much energy left.

This is what percentage my battery is at.

I need to be able to allocate this amount of energy I have left to end my night.

So I'm gonna take a piece of that.

The rest of that needs to go to my family.”

So every day my family gets an emotional, connected, present version of me.

So that, that emotional block that you give your family, protect that.

So first, we

[00:18:30]

protect you, your mental state, your emotional state in the morning.

We optimize that process, thus giving you more time and space and clarity.

So that way you can construct yourself properly in business, reducing the amount of time of hustle.

Thus, we then look at, okay, how much do you need to actually end your day?

Right?

End of day routine.

That leftover right here is a lot.

You can give your family a lot more of you emotionally.

And because of that, you're good.

Family's good.

Business starts solving itself because business is business, alright?

[00:19:00]

Business is always going to be moving.

You're never going to get to like the perfect point in business.

You gotta remember that.

So now we look at, I'm good.

My family's good.

I'm getting good with God.

I'm getting good with the universe.

Whatever the case might be. I'm spiritually sound.

M\y family's good.

They feel like I'm there.

I'm present.

I'm emotionally available for them.

I'm giving them the best of me.

Not just the breadcrumbs.

What that does is it gives you more connection,

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spiritual connection, energetic connection, connection to your family, connection to the core of what it is that's going to drive your purpose and the meaning behind your life.

And you got to remember, once you have that connection from that baseline is now when you start to.

After, after a while, okay, don't just do this shit like off the jump.

After a while, you're gonna feel really good, you're gonna feel energized, everything's gonna be feeling predictable as far as your energy levels go, your mental clarity's gonna be good, you don't have decision fatigue, you're making

[00:20:00]

good decisions on a daily basis, you have a solid 1, week track record of doing this.

Now what you do from that same space, you don't jump out of it, now you start making corrections in, in other areas of your life, from that place of power.

That's what we do to protect you.

As the leader of the business, leader of the household, we protect you, which then protects the family, which protects the mission, which protects the foundation, now we correct from this space.

That's power.

[00:20:30]

That way you know you're always going to feel full.

Your family's always going to feel full.

Because at the end of the day, if you lose everything in life, you take care of that home, you take care of that family, that family's always going to take care of you.

So you gotta, you gotta remember that.

And when you start making corrections from that place, remember the whole point of being energetically sound is to look at business from a totally different vantage point than probably what you have been doing.

And when you do that, um,

[00:21:00]

you're just going to start to see differences in your life.

Okay.

So that's what I would focus on if I was you and if this video, if this, if this exercise, if this awareness resonated with you and you're serious about giving your kids, giving your wife, the man that they deserve, I want you to like this video, subscribe to the channel and stay plugged in each week that I'm dropping a new video, drop some comments, drop some, like, give me some

[00:21:30]

feedback.

Tell me what you're doing to implement.

I love to see wins from high performing men who want to do better and actually put in the work, create the time and space to do better and to be better.

Like the video, subscribe to the

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channel.

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