Why can't you find a high-valued woman? The answer is in you. Your results are from your thoughts. How much do you value yourself? Your personal values will reflect in the quality, if your view of yourself is low you are not going to have quality returns on your endeavors. No matter what they are. To receive value you have to produce value. All of life is a transition. The women will not be of the quality you desire because they are only attracted to men who are of high value.
Ayn Rand expresses this wonderfully in her book Atlas Shrugged. Actually, there are 2 Speeched that Fransisco D'anconia gives that play off of each other and they are both when he is talking to another character in the story named Hank Reardon. The one I wanted to share the most was the sex speech.
“Do you remember what I said about money and about the men who seek to reverse the law of cause and effect? The men who try to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind? Well, the man who despises himself tries to gain self- esteem from sexual adventures–which can’t be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a man’s sense of his own value.”
“You’d better explain that.”
“Did it ever occur to you that it’s the same issue? The men who think that wealth comes from the material resources and has no intellectual root or meaning, are the men who think–for the same reason–that sex is a physical capacity which functions independently of ones mind, choice or code of values. They think that your body creates a desire and makes a choice for you just about in some such way as if iron ore transformed itself into railroad rails of its own volition. Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy on life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself.
No matter what corruption he’s taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which he cannot perform for any motive but his own enjoyment–just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity!–an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exaltation, only in confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience–or to fake–a sense of self-esteem.
The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer — because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to . . . what’s the matter?” he asked, seeing the look on Rearden’s face, a look of intensity much beyond mere interest in an abstract discussion.
“Go on,” said Rearden tensely.
“He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body. But the man who is convinced of his own worthlessness will be drawn to a woman he despises–because she will reflect his own secret self, she will release him from that objective reality in which he is a fraud, she will give him a momentary illusion of his own value and a momentary escape from the moral code that damns him. Observe the ugly mess which most men make of their sex lives–and observe the mess of contradictions which they hold as their moral philosophy. One proceeds from the other. Love is our response to our highest values–and can be nothing else.
Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to values, but in response to flaws–and he will have cut himself in two. His body will not obey him, it will not respond, it will make him impotent toward the woman he professes to love and draw him to the lowest type of whore he can find.
His body will always follow the ultimate logic of his deepest convictions; if he believes that flaws are values, he has damned existence as evil and only the evil will attract him. He has damned himself and he will feel that depravity is all he is worthy of enjoying. He has equated virtue with pain and he will feel that vice is the only realm of pleasure. Then he will scream that his body has vicious desires of its own which his mind cannot conquer, that sex is sin, that true love is a pure emotion of the spirit. And then he will wonder why love brings him nothing but boredom, and sex–nothing but shame.”
Rearden said slowly, looking off, not realizing that he was thinking aloud, “At least . . . I’ve never accepted that other tenet . . . I’ve never felt guilty about making money.”
Francisco missed the significance of the first two words; he smiled and said eagerly, “You do see that it’s the same issue? No, you’d never accept any part of their vicious creed. You wouldn’t be able to force it upon yourself. If you tried to damn sex as evil, you’d still find yourself, against your will, acting on the proper moral premise. You’d be attracted to the highest woman you met. You’d always want a heroine. You’d be incapable of self-contempt. You’d be unable to believe that existence is evil and that you’re a helpless creature caught in an impossible universe.
You’re the man who’s spent his life shaping matter to the purpose of his mind. You’re the man who would know that just as an idea unexpressed in physical action is contemptible hypocrisy, so is platonic love–and just as physical action unguided by an idea is a fool’s self-fraud, so is sex when cut off from one’s code of values. Its’ the same issue, and you would know it. Your inviolate sense of self-esteem would know it. You would be incapable of desire for a woman you despised. Only the man who extols the purity of a love devoid of desire, is capable of the depravity of a desire devoid of love. But observe that most people are creatures cut in half who keep swinging desperately to one side or to the other.
One kind of half is the man who despises money, factories, skyscrapers and his own body. He holds undefined emotions about non-conceivable subjects as the meaning of life and his claim of virtue. And he cries with despair, because he can feel nothing for the woman he respects, but finds himself in bondage to an irresistible passion for a slut from the gutter. He is the man whom people call an idealist. The other kind of half is the man whom people call practical, the man who despises principles, abstractions, art, philosophy and his own mind. He regards the acquisition of material objects as the only goal of existence– and he laughs at the need to consider their purpose or their source.
He expects them to give him pleasure– and he wonders why the more he gets, the less he feels. He is the man who spends his time chasing women. Observe the triple fraud which he perpetrates upon himself. He will not acknowledge his need of self-esteem, since he scoffs at such a concept as moral values; yet he feels the profound self-contempt which comes from believing that he is a piece of meat.
He will not acknowledge, but he knows that sex is the physical expression of a tribute to personal values. So he tries, by going through the motions of the effect, to acquire that which should have been the cause. He tries to gain a sense of his own value from the women who surrender to him– and he forgets that the women he picks have neither character nor judgment nor standard of value. He tells himself that all he’s after is physical pleasure– but observe that he tires of his woman in a week or a night, that he despises professional whores and that he loves to imagine he is seducing virtuous girls who make a great exception for his sake. It is the feeling of achievement that he seeks and never finds. What glory can there be in the conquest of a mindless body? Now that is your woman chaser. Does the description fit me
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand What is a high-value woman?- A Woman with a very low to no body count
- A Woman who sees the value of a woman and isn't out to try to be a man
- Has a secure attachment style
- Has worked through her daddy issues (See Body count)
- Isn't dragging around kids from different men (see body count)
- Puts her heart into all that she tries
- Is up for the adventure her man is going to take her on
- will confidently push her man to be better and will accept her man pushing her to do the same.
- Willing to work as a team with her man
- Doesn't use the term partner but husband
Whether you are just divorced, not married, or married. You can up your value.
Work on the 4 pillars as a start.Build your mind
Build your body
Feed Your Soul
Grow your Community
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This episode of The Relaxed Male, hosted by Bryan Goodwin, explores the topic of finding the right high-value woman. Bryan emphasizes that seeking a high-value partner is not derogatory, but rather a way to avoid low-quality relationships. He urges men to reflect on their own actions and take responsibility for their inability to find a high-value woman. Bryan shares personal experiences that led him to become a coach and help men navigate relationship challenges. He highlights the importance of seeing oneself as a high-value individual in order to attract high-value partners. In another part of the conversation, Bryan discusses Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged" and its impact on understanding the value individuals bring to society.
He focuses on Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money at an anniversary party and its significance in highlighting the origin of money, the role of trade, and how it represents a person's effort and value. Bryan discusses the corrupting nature of money when sought for selfish gain and emphasizes that money should be obtained through work and productivity, reflecting one's character and values. He highlights the correlation between a person's values and their sexual choices, asserting that one's sexual preferences are a reflection of their fundamental convictions and philosophy in life. The conversation also delves into the concept of money and its connection to human morality.
Bryan emphasizes that money should be seen as a means to create wealth and dismisses the guilt and shame often associated with prosperity. He emphasizes the importance of understanding that wealth has to be created and denounces those who denounce the idea of making money. Bryan also discusses the selfish nature of sex and its impact on a person's sense of worth, emphasizing that sex requires self-esteem and confidence.
He argues that corrupting one's values leads to a distorted view of love and sex and advocates for embracing one's values and acknowledging the role of physical expression in relationships. Additionally, Bryan discusses the qualities that make a woman high-value, such as having a low or no body count, embracing femininity, having a secure attachment style, and working through any daddy issues. He emphasizes the need to value and respect partners, work as a team, and support each other's growth in relationships. Bryan also discusses the importance of expanding one's circle of friends, investing in personal development, and nourishing one's soul to increase individual value and attract higher-value partners.
He encourages listeners to introduce others to their community and offers coaching sessions to help individuals recognize their worth and gain confidence. The episode concludes with a call to share the show with others, subscribe, and follow on preferred podcast platforms. Bryan expresses gratitude for the listeners' support and looks forward to continuing the conversation in future episodes.
00:00:01 Introduction to The Relaxed Male - Helping Men Embrace Authenticity 00:00:23 Introducing The Relaxed Male and the purpose of the show 00:03:22 Self-reflection on why one can't find a high-quality woman 00:06:07 Shifting mindset and perception of self-value 00:08:34 Reading and discussing Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money 00:11:19 The Connection Between Money, Wealth, and Intelligence 00:14:01 Money's Role in Providing Means and Satisfaction 00:16:17 Money as a Means of Survival and the Verdict on Livelihood 00:18:39 The Hatred and Love of Money and its Virtuous Nature 00:20:55 Corruption and the Decline of Society 00:32:44 Damned to Depravity: Equating Virtue with Pain 00:37:36 High Value Men and High-Value Women 00:41:26 The Role of Sex in Relationships 00:45:24 Building a Strong Relationship and Increasing Personal Value 00:50:36 Growing your community and increasing your value