with Doug Richardson
Scripture References: Ephesians 4:31-32; Hebrews 12:15; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 1 & 2 (Context: Heavenlies, Accepted, Forgiven); Ephesians 4:1-16 (Context: Calling, Unity, Equipping)
Intro: Continuing our Ephesians series (Position -> Practice -> Representation), we arrive at Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you... and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving [gracing] one another, even as God in Christ forgave [graced] you." Instead of just focusing on "digging up" the root of bitterness (Heb 12:15), let's explore how understanding our resources in Christ prevents bitterness from taking root, while also providing the cure if it already has.
Key Points:
- The Root Cause of Bitterness:
- Flawed Thinking: Bitterness often stems from unmet expectations – how life should be, how people should treat us. When reality falls short, disappointment, hurt, and anger can sour into bitterness.
- Imperfect Love: We live in a world where everyone "loves poorly" (Henri Nouwen), guaranteeing disappointments and opportunities for bitterness.
- Renewing the Mind (Rom 12:2): Simply trying harder or praying bitterness away often fails without changing the underlying thought patterns. Renewing our minds with God's truth is essential for lasting change.
- God's Preventative Resources in Christ (Eph 1-4 Context):
- Position in the "Heavenlies": We are seated with Christ in the spiritual realm now, with access to divine resources (Eph 1:3, 2:6).
- Accepted in the Beloved: Our core identity is being fully accepted and loved by God (Eph 1:6). Living from this acceptance frees us from needing validation from imperfect people or circumstances, buffering against disappointment (like Jesus).
- Forgiven & Reconciled: Christ's work reconciled us vertically (to God) and horizontally (potentially, to each other). God's overarching plan is unity and reconciliation (Eph 1:10, 2:14-16). Bitterness opposes this plan by creating division.
- Our Calling to Unity: We're called to walk worthy (Eph 4:1), empowered by the Spirit, to actively maintain unity, mend brokenness (equip), and build up others "until" we all reach maturity (Eph 4:3, 12-13).
- The Daily Choice: Put Off / Put On (Eph 4:22-24, 31-32):
- Like choosing clothes, we must daily, intentionally "put off" the old self (with bitterness, anger) and "put on" the new self, created in Christ's likeness.
- This means consciously living from our true identity: accepted, loved, forgiven, empowered, and called to God's reconciling plan.
- When grounded in these truths, "putting away bitterness" becomes a natural outflow of who we are, not just a rule to follow.
- The Action: Grace One Another (Eph 4:32):
- The word for "forgiving" here is related to charis (grace). It implies extending grace to one another.
- Because God has lavished grace and acceptance on us, we discard scorekeeping and extend that same unmerited favor to others, even when they "love poorly."
Conclusion: Bitterness takes root when unmet expectations meet faulty thinking. The preventative and cure lie in renewing our minds with the truth of our vast resources in Christ – our heavenly position, unwavering acceptance, complete forgiveness, and unifying calling. By daily choosing to "put on" this identity, we can "put away" bitterness and instead actively extend grace to others, just as God has ext
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