Of the Five Languages of Apology, Expressing Regret is probably the most straightforward one. This one is pretty simple, you are pretty satisfied with, “I’m sorry.” An immediate expression of sorrow for causing you pain goes a long way. How do people get this wrong? They combine it with an excuse, “I’m sorry I was late but I got held up at work.” How to fix this bad habit of turning apologies into deflections? "I’m sorry I was late. I did get held up at the office. But that left you in the lurch to handle the kids on your own. That must have really sucked. I’m sorry.” Notice the difference. Stay with the experience of the person who was hurt. Otherwise you come off like an egomaniac “but it wasn’t me" who has to make everything not your fault instead of a sincere "I’m sorry I hurt you.”

 

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