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Eps 119 Solo Show - Deconstructing Natural Consequences and Personal Responsibility

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens
Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens
Episode • Nov 21, 2017 • 47m

Intro Sharing:

  • Thank you, listeners!!
  • Honored to serve you…
  • Mother’s Journey recap – Seattle, Portland, Boise
  • Orange County, East Hampton, St. Paul – 2018 Mother’s Journey locations
  • Boldly Embody Life – Krista Petty Raimer, Grace, Elevate
  • When I am a yes to trusting, surrender and presence is already there
  • Visioning for 2018

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Content:

Personal Responsibility and Natural Consequences

  • Natural consequences are what happens when we stay out of the way – they occur when we let things unfold
  • What do we want most for our kids? What are our desired outcomes for this whole process of parenting?
  • Reference to a poll on my personal FB page
  • Who lets their 14 year old daughter hang out in her room with her boyfriend?
  • Two lists activity from Positive Discipline class
  • The only place that our kids can develop life skills is inside of experience… and in relationship with a healthy adults supports that as well…
  • Their experiences inspire and inform future decisions
  • There is a lot learning that we are robbing our children of because we are getting in the way
  • Parents internal experience takes over
  • Mindfulness matters when we are supporting our kids in developing personal responsibility
  • Natural consequences happens when adults don’t get in the way
  • This is a dance – boundaries are respectful kids need them, we need them
  • Kids need to feel the tension
  • Mistakes allow natural consequences – when we let them feel the consequences that show up, that we aren’t IMPOSING there is lots of room to learn
  • Example – homework
  • Help them to expand their perspective of what THEY want
  • Check your assumptions… and check in with your child
  • Humans LONG to be listened to, seen
  • Kids learn personal responsibility through experiencing having the opportunity to BE personally responsible
  • What matters is the relationship – bonded in unconditional love and mutual respect
  • Allow the natural consequence the power that they have
  • Our kids want to feel connected, as though they matter and that they have influence
  • Tools: co-creating routines and agreements, loosen up, ask questions, check your unspoken messaging, family meetings
  • joyfulcourage.com/family-meeting-ecourse
  • We all want our kids to grow into cooperative, contributing adult living good lives
  • What already exists when they make mistakes is powerful!

Coming up next week – talking with Robin Sabbag about raising a teen daughter.

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