We're back with Dr. Abrar Hussain to kick off Series 4, Episode 1 as we bring another lens on all things "40+ professional, highly functioning, not-always-ok" with an emphasis on all things relational.

Here's a brief summary of what Dr. Hussain covers in this podcast: 

We Exist Within Systems — Not in Isolation

We are not isolated beings; we exist within a complex web of systems. Internally, we have biological systems like the nervous system. Externally, we are embedded in relational systems — families, communities, societies — all of which interact with and influence each other.  Dr. Hussain introduced the Rule of Thirds: You bring a third of the dynamic. The other person brings a third of the dynamic, and the space in between you holds the other third. 

The Nervous System: Our Internal Command Center

Among our internal systems, the nervous system is perhaps the most powerful. It is always learning, constantly scanning for cues that it is either safe and can trust what is happening, or it is not safe, it can't trust, and needs to go into defence mode, and then adapt accordingly. 

It helps us make judgments, assess risk, and grow. But it is also vulnerable. Its bandwidth is limited, and it can become overwhelmed or dysregulated when too much is happening — especially in environments, or with people it determines to be unsafe, or not trustworthy. 

What happens around us directly affects our nervous system. Our relational experiences — how people treat us, respond to us, or ignore us — are encoded as safety or threat. Our nervous system learns not just from what is said, but from tone, facial expressions, body language, and presence.

The Blueprint of Relationships: Childhood and "The Dance"

Our earliest relationships create the template we carry into adulthood. Childhood experiences — whether nurturing or challenging — shape our nervous system’s default settings. They teach us what to expect from others, how to relate, how to protect ourselves, and what it means to be loved or rejected.

Dr. Hussain explains how these patterns are reflected in what CAT (Cognitive Analytic Therapy) calls reciprocal roles — learned dynamics that we replay in adult relationships. This becomes “the dance” — a repeating pattern, often unconscious, driven by our nervous system’s learned responses to relational cues.

Relational Safety: A Two-Way Street

Our nervous system is relational — it is in constant communication with the nervous systems of those around us.  For true safety to exist, both people in a relationship need to feel safe with each other in mind AND nervous system. This mutual co-regulation is the foundation of secure connection.

Trauma and the Nervous System

Trauma lives in the nervous system. Nearly all trauma is relational — caused by someone, something, or the absence of someone or something. When left unhealed, trauma fragments become lodged in the memory networks of the nervous system.

These fragments don't stay quiet. They resurface as flashbacks, nightmares, emotional dysregulation, or even physical symptoms. The nervous system holds onto these pieces, waiting for the safety and opportunity to process and heal.

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Dr. Abrar Hussain

Dr Abrar Hussain is a pioneering force in #NervousSystemIntelligence (#NSQ), redefining the way professionals understand #coregulation, #relationalhealing,  #highperformance and #wellbeing.

As a consultant, psychiatrist, speaker and advisor, he specialises in guiding individuals and organisations toward deeper #nervoussystem awareness, helping them shift from #nervoussystemdysregulation to #resilience. With a lifetime of expertise in #CognitiveAnalyticTherapy (CAT) and innovative nervous system frameworks, Dr. Hussain empowers professionals to navigate complexity, foster psychological safety, and optimise energy for long-term success.

www.drabrarhussain.com 

Follow Dr. Abrar on LinkedIn > 

 

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Shannon Eastman

Shannon Eastman  is a business growth strategist fluent in both boardroom dynamics and nervous system regulation.

With 25 years of experience scaling businesses across tech, finance, and regulated industries worldwide, she brings a systems-thinking approach to performance, leadership, and wellbeing.

After five years studying the neurobiology of trauma, Jungian psychology, and polyvagal theory, Shannon now integrates nervous system intelligence into the way business gets done—through corporate pilots, strategic partnerships, and a global network of innovators driving this shift.

Her work bridges performance and wellbeing, laying the groundwork for a more human, sustainable way to lead.

www.shannoneastman.com

Follow Shannon on LinkedIn > 

 

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NEW: Nervous System Economy™

You’ll hear us refer to the Nervous System Economy™ — a industry level educaiton initiative committed to integrating Nervous System Intelligence into business and leadership. You'll find more about this over here: www.nervoussystemeconomy.com 

 

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A Note on Safety

Your mental health, wellbeing, and sense of safety matter deeply. Working with a trauma-informed practitioner can make a significant difference.

While this podcast shares insights, reflections, and tools, it is not a substitute for professional support. If you’re seeking a qualified practitioner, visit the Directory on our website.

Our community includes psychologists, psychotherapists, and psychiatrists who work through a trauma-informed lens — often with a special interest in supporting professionals aged 40+ or working within organisations.

 

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#WTTLO #WhoTurnedTheLightsOn #NervousSystemEconomy #CPTSD #Wellbeing #MentalHealth #40PlusProfessionals #Anxiety #TraumaRecovery #NervousSystemRegulation #WellbeingAtWork #Edutainment #NervousSystemBasics #NervousSystemInformedApproach