Three topics on the agenda today that Uncle Turtleboy is passionate about:
1. The Celtics are going to win the NBA Champioship this year, and LeBron is officially dead in the Eastern Conference.
2. This stripper cop from Shirley and her sugar daddy, wannabe gangsta elderly selectman boy toy, have made this town the most corrupt town in the state.
3. Facebook is fucked. Taking down our pages because our profile picture supported murdered Yarmouth cop Sean Gannon was the final straw. They will be BEGGING us for mercy and we will not rest until Mark Zuckerberg's kids have to go to public school.