In which we applaud Paul Simon's light-fingered songwriting skills, delight in the fake Roxy Music rejection letter, trace the origins of rock's black uniform (which Keith Richards reckons has it roots in cowboy movies), discover powerful new chemical benefits from being in bands, reveal the Spandau Ballet hit based on If I Had A Hammer, hear Philip Roth's advice to an aspiring novelist and play rock band or children's entertainment option (Angry Beavers?).

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