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#91 | Why the Coming Out Process Isn’t About You — What Every Parent Needs to Hear

More Human More Kind: Guidance for Parenting LGBTQ+ Teens & Growing Into a Courageous Ally
More Human More Kind: Guidance for Parenting LGBTQ+ Teens & Growing Into a Courageous Ally
Episode • May 16, 2023 • 18m

Join Heather Hester as she delves into the essential stages of the coming out process for LGBTQIA individuals, highlighting the importance of acceptance, pride, and synthesis in their journey. She emphasizes that coming out is not a linear experience but a lifelong exploration of identity, filled with complexities and emotional growth. Through personal anecdotes and insightful discussions, Heather encourages parents and allies to support their loved ones by understanding where they are in this process and providing a safe space for expression. The episode also tackles a thought-provoking question about the balance between brilliance and goodness, prompting listeners to reflect on their values. Ultimately, Heather reminds us that love, acceptance, and affirmation are crucial for fostering a supportive environment for LGBTQIA youth.

Heather dives into stages four, five, and six of the coming out process, discussing how each stage represents a shift in acceptance and understanding of one's identity and orientation. From forming friendships and finding a sense of pride to navigating anger and differing viewpoints, she will provide insight into the unique challenges and triumphs faced during each stage.

Tune in to learn how you can best support your LGBTQIA+ loved ones as they navigate their coming out journey.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

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At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.

If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.

Heather Hester dives into a rich and heartfelt exploration of the complexities surrounding the coming out process for LGBTQ individuals in her latest podcast episode. A pivotal moment comes when Heather shares a question that sparked an engaging debate with her daughter Isabel: Would you rather be good or brilliant? This question serves as a profound exploration of personal values, urging listeners to reflect on the attributes they prioritize in their lives and their children's upbringing.

As the conversation transitions to the coming out process, Heather delves deeply into stages four through six of the CAS identity model. She outlines identity acceptance, pride, and synthesis, emphasizing that these stages reflect a journey toward self-acceptance and integration. Heather articulates how individuals begin to embrace their identities more fully, forming connections with peers, and experiencing a sense of pride in who they are. The discussion highlights the nuances of this journey, including the challenges of navigating societal expectations and the internal struggles that many face. Heather provides insightful tips for parents on how to support their children through these stages, stressing the importance of open communication and creating safe spaces for exploration.

The episode wraps up with Heather reinforcing the notion that the coming out process is not a linear journey, but rather a complex and often messy one. She encourages parents to embrace their child's unique experiences and to provide unconditional love and support. Heather shares valuable resources for families, reiterating the importance of community and connection in fostering a positive environment for LGBTQ youth. This episode is a treasure trove of insights, offering both guidance and reassurance for parents navigating the intricate landscape of LGBTQ identities.

Takeaways:

  • This podcast emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for LGBTQ children.
  • The coming out process involves multiple stages, each requiring different types of support.
  • Listeners are encouraged to engage in open-ended conversations with their LGBTQ loved ones.
  • Encouragement and acceptance from parents and allies can significantly enhance a child's journey.
  • Understanding the stages of identity acceptance can help parents better support their children.
  • Embracing one's identity can lead to a sense of pride and belonging for LGBTQ individuals.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen explores connection, courage, and community for every concerned parent, mom, or ally navigating fear, grief, and bigotry with hope, resilience, and empathy. Through open-minded education, inclusive parenting guidance, and advocacy for mental health and safety, we support LGBTQ youth and stand for human rights and social justice. More Human. More Kind. empowers listeners to shift their mindset, embrace activism and allyship, and lead with kindness, healing, and purpose.



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