Guilting and shaming are ways to control and manipulate and divert the attention away from the narcissist victim. One way the narcissist will do this is by offering up fake apology that people buy into, that often times lead people into feeling they did something wrong. instead of vice versa. Genuine apologies include a sincere effort to make things right, "I am sorry" is just not enough. Taking the time to make people whole is understanding. Once buttons have been deactivated to healing, people are no longer a victim to be setup to feel guilt and shame that do not belong to them.