Episode 181 - Calm in the Storm - Teaching Your Kids Resilience Through How You Handle Adult Bully Encounters

Navigating Adult Bullying and Teaching Kids Resilience

Bullying isn’t just something kids face at school-it happens among adults too, often fueled by power imbalances, insecurity, or patterns learned in childhood. Adult bullies use tactics like gaslighting, exclusion, verbal aggression, and undermining others’ credibility. The effects don’t stop at work or in the community; they can spill over into family life, shaping how our children learn to handle conflict.

So, how can you respond in the moment? One approach is to practice detached empathy-acknowledge the bully’s concerns without getting pulled into an emotional tug-of-war. For example, you might say, “I hear your concern, but let’s focus on the facts.” Another helpful tool is the BIFF technique: keep your responses brief, informative, friendly, and firm. You could say, “I’ll review those numbers and send you an email confirmation by 3 PM today.” Setting boundaries is also key. In public, you might respond with, “Let’s continue this conversation when we can both speak respectfully.” In the workplace, it’s important to document interactions and, if needed, say, “I’m documenting this interaction per our harassment policy.”

For long-term protection, keep records of all communications-save emails, texts, and notes with dates and times. Building a support network at work or in your community can make a big difference; having witnesses to interactions can help if things escalate. Advocate for clear anti-bullying policies and request conflict resolution training in your organization to create a safer environment for everyone.

As parents, we have an opportunity to model healthy ways to handle bullying for our kids. Talk through your process out loud, such as, “I felt upset when that happened, so I’m taking deep breaths first.” Show them what assertiveness looks like by using “I” statements, like, “I need to finish my work without interruptions.” After a tough situation, have a conversation with your child about how you handled it and discuss ways they might respond if they face something similar.

There are times when it’s necessary to escalate the situation, especially if there are physical threats, discrimination, or repeated sabotage at work. Don’t hesitate to reach out to community resources like mediation services or helplines such as BullyingCanada. If things continue, it may be time to involve HR, legal counsel, or even law enforcement.

Key Takeaway:

How you respond to adult bullies isn’t just about protecting yourself-it’s a live lesson in dignity, boundaries, and emotional intelligence for your kids. By handling bullies thoughtfully, you’re helping your children grow into adults who can face conflict with courage and grace.

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music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

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