“Universal love,” said the cactus person.

“Transcendent joy,” said the big green bat.

“Right,” I said. “I’m absolutely in favor of both those things. But before we go any further, could you tell me the two prime factors of 1,522,605,027, 922,533,360, 535,618,378, 132,637,429, 718,068,114, 961,380,688, 657,908,494 ,580,122,963, 258,952,897, 654,000,350, 692,006,139?"

This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:

https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/04/21/universal-love-said-the-cactus-person/