Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, is renowned for her expertise in narcissism and its effects on relationships. Amanda and Dr. Durvasula discuss the complexities of narcissism, shedding light on its defining characteristics and the impact it has on individuals and their relationships. She explains that narcissism is more than just self-centeredness; it's a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. For those entangled in relationships with narcissists, Dr. Durvasula emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. She emphasizes that it's crucial to prioritize one's well-being and to recognize when a relationship becomes toxic or abusive. Through her insights and guidance, Dr. Durvasula empowers individuals to identify narcissistic behaviors and take steps toward healing and reclaiming their lives. Don’t miss her book, It's Not You - Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.

 

IN THIS EPISODE: 

• [00:38] Discussion about the overuse of the word narcissism by untrained observers, how the narcissist snares people, and how Dr. Durvasula began working with narcissistic people
• [04:48] Dr. Durvasula explains what narcissism is and what it isn’t
• [13:17] Can a narcissist be healed through therapy, and why does that person use recovery as a weapon
• [21:32] The term parental alienation and how a narcissist manipulates their children.
• [23:04] How do children cope when being raised by a narcissist, and what to do you do if you are in a narcissistic relationship
• [48:00] What creates adult narcissism? Temperament and resilience

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• A narcissistic individual may initially seem appealing as a partner. However, their true nature emerges once you're in a relationship. You'll constantly feel inadequate and blamed for everything. The narcissist will never take responsibility or offer apologies.
• The children of a narcissist are children of child abuse—the result of the abuse lasts for years into their adulthood. Unfortunately, mental abuse is never thought of as bad as other forms of abuse.
• There is help for the victims of a narcissistic abuser. Recognize your situation, accept it and then get healing through therapy. It’s not your fault.

 

RESOURCES:

It's Not You - Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People - Book

Dr. Ramani Durvasula - Instagram

Dr. Durvasula - Website

 

BIOGRAPHY:

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is the author of several books, including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. Her work has been featured at SXSW, TEDx, Red Table Talk, the Today Show, and Investigation Dis