CHAOS ALERT: Madonna storms comedy club for surprise Trump jokes while Google Maps tries to erase Mexico from its app! But that's not even the craziest news of the day - wait until you hear about France's new AI that thinks cows lay eggs and can calculate the square root of a goat. Plus, the Doomsday Clock just moved closer to midnight, because apparently we needed MORE anxiety this week. And in totally unrelated news, companies are now speed-running how fast they can fire Gen Z employees. Is this the most chaotic news day of twenty twenty-five? You decide! (Your boss will NOT want you to read this...)