Dream Interpretation #285: How dad shapes future relationships with men

On today's show, Vivian's escapes from a collapsing building with a male who then completely vanishes. She is then stalked by another man. How does this dream show the origin of why Vivian's ends up in relationships with men who walk out on her? 

Stay tuned to find out how. 

Vivian's life story demonstrates exactly how a child reacts when dad is not there. She does not blame him. In fact, she states repeatedly that her first love was for her father. That he was the one that nurtured her. Now you and I know that he clearly can't do that when he is chooses to be absent. Vivian knows it too. But it is not our adult mind that we are grappling with when a parent impacts us so devastatingly. The trauma of his absence is real. But he is still the one she wants to turn to, to fix her problem. His part in the causing the trauma, indeed the trauma itself is often moved into our blind spot because as a child there is nothing we can do about it. It is so painful that we often just pretend it didn't happen. It gets parked in our mind to be dealt with later. For Vivian, that time is now. 

In the course of our discussion I discovered that dad would leave whenever her mom would get pregnant - and would stay gone until after the baby was born. What? He had 8 children and 6 of them where born after Vivian. On top of that, her sister was born 11 months after she was. So putting that together, it means dad disappeared for a lot of the first year of her life. 

Now if you feel your blood is boiling and you want to kick the next man you meet - relax - you are having a reaction because you are a normal human. But if this was your life, I guarantee that you would not be mad at dad. Because his behavior would have trained you to expect exactly more of that behavior from him. It is who he is. But here is the worst part. His behavior sets a low bar on what you expect from men. In fact it sets a low bar on the type of man you can attract into your life. You can only attract men like dad, because that is the man you love. You love dad. And so many years later, when you are looking for love, you find a man like dad because that is what you have been conditioned to expect. 

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You have your own secret recipe for creating your best relationship, and it's just waiting for you to uncover it. Where?? It's in your dreams! There are specific relationship symbols that appear in your dreams at night, and they hold the key to the primary issue that's keeping you from having the love you've been wishing for. 

Whether you're looking for love or looking for more love in your current relationship, your dreams have some of the best advice you're going to get. 

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