SEASON 4 EPISODE 2: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN 

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: The United States of America does not have a functioning government. 

The Trump Dictatorship and the Library of Congress – Congress which Mike Johnson runs via a porn app – DELETED part of the official online edition of the Constitution – the part that limits the suspension of Habeas Corpus and bans presidents accepting foreign bribes. The Library says it was a coding error and would be fixed soon…ish. Yeah, the coding in Trump’s DNA.

The White House had to DENY that the White House Chief of Staff was to meet last night with the Vice President, the Attorney General, the Deputy Attorney General, and the FBI Director to discuss what to DO about the Trump/Epstein cover-up scandal, and what to do WITH the RECORDING of the Deputy Attorney General’s two days’ of bargaining with a convicted pedophile and child sex trafficker… and nobody seemed to notice that the headline was that WHATEVER the Chief of Staff, A-G, Deputy A-G, and FBI Director WERE meeting with the Vice President ABOUT… the PRESIDENT WASN’T GOING TO BE THERE.

There is no competent executive authority, no congressional or senate oversight, no reliable judiciary. The United States of America does NOT NOW have a functioning government. The nominal president has spent the last few days making up economic statistics and poll numbers and threatening his predecessors with prosecution for imaginary crimes punishable by death while wandering around the roof of the White House, and phoning in to a business network with racist moronity the content of which is just this side of a 19th century minstrel show, or continuing to get more and more in bed, figuratively, with a convicted pedophile and child sex trafficker, in a scheme to cover-up her crimes, her late partner crimes, and whatever the president’s role was or was not… in them. And the first and seventh people in the line of presidential succession were going to have dinner with their Epstein expert who just met with Gulaine Maxwell and the head of the FBI and the woman who RUNS the White House but NOT the president and you know it almost doesn’t MATTER if they were meeting to try to figure out what to do about Trumpsteen or not. 

By 3:14 PM Eastern the Library of Congress said Sections 8, 9 and 10 of the 1st Article were back online so, shrug emoji, I guess there are limits on emoluments and suspending Habeas Corpus… for now. Fifteen minutes later, however, there were still huge swaths of all three sections missing from the official online version of the Constitution. But coding. And so what, it’s just the ONLINE version, what’s the difference? Trump just fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics because she wouldn’t delete the official online jobs numbers and will soon find someone to post fabricated numbers online which will then be accepted as real – and official – because they’re ONLINE.

There is no functioning government, just a mediocre Public Relations firm. Understaffed. Trying to sell Edsels, Google Glasses, New Coke, and fascism.

B-Block (40:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Acting NASA "Director" Duffy wants to put nukes on the moon, even though that was the plot of the re-make of the movie "The Time Machine" in which nukes on the moon destroyed the moon and rendered earth uninhabitable good call reality TV boy. The New York Times won't stop trying to make Harvard-Fetch happen. And the Trump Council on Lack of Fitness, the one Super Bowl star Saquon Barkley turned down membership on? The Council announced he accepted.

C-Block (55:00) THURSDAYS WITH THURBER: Of all his great stories, the one that might have been the most likely to have been written in order to be performed aloud, I humbly offer you this week: "The Night The Bed Fell."

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