Two, Not Three - Teaching Kids and Ourselves, to Thrive with Simplicity
Episode 173 - Two, Not Three - Teaching Kids and Ourselves, to Thrive with Simplicity
How Dads and men can avoid overwhelm, make better decisions, and set a powerful example for their children.
Ben Prober, a successful 1950s shoe salesman. His unique approach? He would only ever present two pairs of shoes to a customer at a time. If a customer wanted to try a third pair, he’d politely ask, “Of course, which of these two should I take away?” This ensured the customer never had more than two options to consider. The result: customers felt confident, satisfied, and almost always made a purchase. When faced with three or more choices, they often left empty-handed, paralyzed by indecision
The Paradox of Choice:
Too many options can lead to “choice paralysis”—the inability to make a decision at all. Research and real-world experience show that limiting options helps people feel more confident and satisfied with their decisions
Why Constraints Matter for Dads:
As fathers and role models, men face countless daily decisions that affect not just themselves but their families. Embracing constraints—like limiting choices—reduces overwhelm, fosters clarity, and models healthy decision-making for children
Decision Fatigue and Mental Load:
Constantly weighing too many options drains energy and increases stress. Simplifying choices—whether about dinner, family activities, or career moves—helps dads conserve mental energy for what truly matters
Teaching Kids by Example:
By showing decisiveness and comfort with “enough,” dads teach their kids that it’s okay not to chase every possible option. This builds confidence, reduces anxiety, and encourages gratitude and satisfaction with what they have.
Practical Applications
Limit Options:
When faced with a decision, narrow choices to two strong contenders. If a third option arises, swap it in for one of the existing two—never more than two at a time
Use the “Which One Should I Remove?” Technique:
When your child (or you) wants to add another option, ask which current choice should be removed. This keeps the decision process focused and manageable
Model Decisiveness:
Make decisions confidently and explain your process to your kids. Show them that it’s better to choose and move forward than to get stuck in endless deliberation.
Reflect on Satisfaction:
After making a decision, focus on the positives of your choice rather than dwelling on what you didn’t pick. This helps reinforce contentment and reduces regret
as dads and men, embracing constraints isn’t about limiting life’s possibilities—it’s about freeing ourselves and our families from the stress of endless options. By modeling clarity and decisiveness, we help our children grow into confident, resilient adults who know how to choose well and live fully.
Call to Action:
Try the “two, not three” rule this week—whether it’s picking a family activity, choosing what to eat, or making a purchase. Share experiences and reflections in your community or on social media.
___
music provided by Blue Dot Sessions
Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270