I have been carrying around a deep sense of shame and inadequacy most of my life. For not feeling seen, heard, understood and chosen by my primary care givers. I felt like something must have been wrong with me if both my mother and father couldn't see me.  I unconsciously thought back then, if i stayed quiet and if I could be a good girl, then maybe I would get connection. This protected me at one point in my life, but no longer serves me. Hiding no longer keeps me safe, hiding only results in disconnection as an adult.  Hiding perpetuates the shame and from that stems jealousy, resentment, and anxiety. This poem is a personal ayahuasca experience of remembering a traumatic experience and reframing it with perspective and personal empowerment.