Spark First or Flame Later: Exploring the Chemistry Conundrum in Relationships

Episode • Aug 29, 2023 • 29m

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Discussion of attachment theory and its influence on partner choice

- Highlighting the volatility and toxicity of relationships with anxious-avoidant attachments

- Realization that chemical attraction isn't the best foundation for a relationship

- Understanding the need to find different ways to connect with potential partners

- Exploration of managing one's own anxiety and building secure attachments

- Importance of taking time to get to know each other in building a strong relationship

- Emphasizing the need to observe how a person responds in difficult situations

- Encouraging enjoyment of the dating journey and taking the time to get to know each other

- Importance of finding a partner who respects boundaries and desires for a slower pace

- Identification of avoidant behaviors early on, particularly in men

- Differentiation between confident pacing and overwhelming love bombing

- Desire for calm and peace in relationships, especially in the early stages

Key quotes:

"When I finally started to unravel this in my late 30s, early forties, and I started to look at all of the bad relationships I'd had, it made me start to realize that chemical attraction wasn't really a good thing." — Lisa Shield
"What's really hard for many people to wrap their brains around is the idea of a relationship that doesn't have those extreme highs and those extreme lows, but still is connected." — Lisa Shield
"It doesn't matter how beautiful you are or how educated or successful or whatever, your anxiety will sabotage everything." — Lisa Shield
"One of the things that I started to do was instead of just jumping in and fixating on one guy I liked, I realized that it would be much healthier for me to date several men at once." — Lisa Shield
"Relationships take time...You have to sit back and wait and watch and listen and learn before you just give your heart to anybody." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey:

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Continue On Your Journey:

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