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Going back to the dating scene was terrifying for author Laura Williams.

After a sudden divorce from a 27-year marriage, she had two paths: completely retreat for protection OR find something interesting with the risk of rejection.

Being unhappy wasn’t a choice. She says, “When I hear people are scared to get out there, I think, ‘Isn’t it scarier to stay where you are?’”

You, too, can make the same decision. Are you ready?

Tune in to this episode on Dating In Your Midlife After Divorce with Laura Williams.

Key points covered in this episode: 

 ✔️You need external feedback, not validation. Dating different people can help you know more about your strengths and weaknesses. We are our own worst critics of our bodies. But what we dislike is actually attractive in another’s eyes.

✔️Sex is self-expression, not an act of service. You have the choice to partake in the experiences and be involved with the people you want. Take the shame away from enjoying sex without commitment. Reclaim your power.

 ✔️Have space for your children’s feelings.  Their reactions to your dating escapades may be celebrating with you or having difficulties processing the change. Validate their internal struggles. Get into honest conversations with them.

✔️Being a loyal mother is an asset. Some men find a woman’s dedication and loyalty to her children attractive. If he doesn’t like it when you drop dates to be with your kids, he’s not the one. Men who want to be with you DO exist!

✔️Be honest with what you’ve lost, and embrace what you’ve gained. Divorce and dating don’t make you less of a mother. It actually makes you more of it! Your kids want more quality time, heart-to-heart talks, and meaningful experiences.

 

✔️Be in it to find it. Dating post-divorce is like jumping into cold water. The only way to do it is to actually do it! You CAN have a supportive and loving partner. You CAN have a fulfilling relationship on your own terms. Trust the process.

Laura Friedman Williams is a native New Yorker whose writing credits consist of countless PTA newsletters, program notes for talent shows and school auctions, and ghostwritten bar mitzvah speeches for many of her friends. Her wit and wisdom have not yet made it to a larger audience, but her years spent raising children and running events at her children’s schools have kept her writing steady and sharp. She credits her degree in English from Washington University and the ten formative years she spent in book publishing – first in Subsidiary Rights at Warner Books (now Grand Central Publishing) and then at Henry Holt & Company, then as a book scout and finally as a literary agent – for giving her a deep love and respect for the written word. She credits the break-up of her marriage for finally giving her the subject matter about which she both needed and wanted to write. She lives in downtown Manhattan with her three children.

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