Following the South’s catastrophic loss at Gettysburg in the American Civil War (1863), General Robert E. Lee led his battered troops back to southern territory. Heavy rains flooded the Potomac River, blocking his retreat. President Abraham Lincoln urged General George Meade to attack. But Meade’s men were just as weary as Lee’s. He rested his troops.

Lincoln picked up his quill and wrote a letter in which he confessed he was “distressed immeasurably” at Meade’s reluctance to pursue Lee. On the envelope are these words in the president’s handwriting: “To Gen. Meade, never sent, or signed.” And indeed, it never was.  

Long before Lincoln, another great leader grasped the importance of reining in our emotions. Anger, no matter how justified, is a dangerously powerful force. “Do you see someone who speaks in haste?” King Solomon asked. “There is more hope for a fool than for them” (Proverbs 29:20). Solomon knew that “by justice a king gives a country stability” (v. 4). He also understood that “fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end” (v. 11).

And in the end, not sending that letter prevented Lincoln from demoralizing his top general, helped win a necessary war, and contributed to the healing of a nation. We do well to learn from examples like his of wise restraint.