Spice up your marriage | with Bill & Pam Farrel
Episode 103 - Stephanie welcomes Bill & Pam Farrel today to discuss marriage. Bill and Pam both grew up in highly dysfunctional homes with backgrounds that statistically guaranteed failure in their relationship; yet here they are, many decades later, with a thriving marriage and a full-scale ministry, LOVE-WISE, dedicated to coming alongside couples in every stage of married life.
They say, “If you want a great love life, you must grab a hold of God’s wisdom.” This applies to all meaningful relationships! So, whether you are married or not, you will discover valuable lessons for key relationships in your life in this episode. For example, Bill shares how his family comes from a regrettable tradition of breaking ties with parents, dating back 4 generations, and how he now has created an atmosphere where his father, his son and grandson all get together with him—4 new generations of Farrel men getting together, something that has not happened in the previous 4 generations. This is one of many Farrel traditions and rituals that are now sparking positive relationships into the new generations.
If you are married, we warmly invite you to listen to this episode (again?) with your spouse, take notes, and then implement one of the many suggestions in this interview!
Bill and Pam share how, as newlyweds, they would “stalk” happily married, older couples at church and dare to ask them the hard questions of married life—and the unexpected blessings they would receive in these initial formative relationships with everyday heroes of married life.
They explain that everyone can have a good marriage; depending on the role models you had growing up, you might need to be more intentional about the decisions you make and the instincts that have been drilled into you from potentially negative examples.
They explain that individuals often marry what they don’t have—namely, someone with a very different skillset. This is a tremendous opportunity, but it will also often lead to a different approach to marriage, resulting in tension. How can we learn to work as a team in marriage, listening to and understanding one another in practical ways? Bill & Pam share with us the three AHA categories that they have created for every couple: Attitudes, Habits, and Affections. They say, “marriage doesn’t just take work. It takes smart work.”
Bill and Pam remind us that marriage is about adding value to each other’s life—and keeping in the forefront of our mind how our spouse enriches our life.
Pam & Bill had a fun time picking spices to describe one another—the conversation itself is a window into their relationship. Pam is jalapeno and chipotle, while Bill just might have curry overtones! You’re going to have to take a listen to find out. We challenge you to have this conversation with your spouse and decide on a spice that best represents each of you!
GOSPEL SPICE GIVEAWAY
Bill & Pam Farrel are giving away a set of “Marriage Meet-Ups” books—one for the wife, one for the husband. Go to gospelspice.com/giveaway to enter for a chance to win. Winner will be announced two weeks after episode airs. If you are listening to this episode after this particular giveaway closes, please stay tuned for upcoming giveaways with new exciting books!
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT BILL & PAM FARREL at www.Love-Wise.com
Bill and Pam Farrel are relationship experts, international speakers, and Directors of Love-Wise. They have been married and in ministry for 42 years. Bill has experience as Youth Pastor, followed by 15 years as a Lead Pastor; then was Pastor of Small Groups for Dr David Jeremiah at Shadow Mountain church. Pam served alongside Bill in youth work then served as Director of Women’s Ministry during Bill’s years as a Pastor.
They have written 50+books including best-selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti , 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make, 7 Simple Skills for Every Man, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman and their 10 Best Decisions series (for couples, singles, parents, grads, leaders, men and women). Their books have been translated into 15+ languages.
Pam is the co-author of the Discovering the Bible: an amazon bestseller, creative Bible study series. The Farrels have spoken for a wide variety of groups: overseas for missions, the military and government sponsored events (including keynoting at National Marriage convention sponsored by government of Singapore); In the USA and Canada for churches, conference centers, community groups as well as the military and businesses. Their wit and wisdom make them popular speakers and podcast, radio and TV guests (Moody network, Family Life Today, Focus on the Family, Dr. Dobson’s Family Talk radio, A Better Us TV and most TV networks).
The Farrels also enjoy helping people with their most vital relationships online in the Living Love-Wise Community. Recently, the Farrels moved near Bill’s 91 year-old parents to help with their care. The Farrels enjoy time with their grown children, their spouses and young grandchildren, and when they are not working in ministry, or with family, you may find them walking the beach, biking, or kayaking from their down-sized home on a live aboard boat docked in Southern California.
You are invited to join us on the Gospel Spice Prayer Bible Study, titled "The heart behind prayer" starting September 20, 2025! Details and registration here: https://www.gospelspice.com/prayer
There are a few things in our Christian life that we know we should do more, or at least better – and prayer just might top the list. Prayer is a mystery. Why would a conversation with a human have any influence on God’s eternal, sovereign plan? It defies logic, and beckons love. How can God, the Almighty Lord of Hosts, be this close, this personal? It defies understanding, and beckons involvement.
But, lack of time, inspiration, and discipline, combined with the ruthless tyranny of our busy lives, push prayer to the periphery, to the “one day I’ll get to it” pile. And yet, we can excel at what we endeavor to undertake. So, why isn’t prayer more of a spiritual priority? Could we develop a mindset around prayer that made it attractive, inspiring, even maybe delightful? What if we attuned our spiritual ears to listen to God, and our spiritual eyes to see His provision?
As an unassuming student, I’m going to humbly offer to share the little I have learned from others about the joy of prayer. I will give us theology, practical tips, and useful resources, sharing what works for me as we, together, learn to pray.
If you find prayer intimidating, or if your lack of prayer makes you feel guilty or “less than,” then this is the place for you! If you have been a student of prayer for many years, this is the place for you too! If you have breath in your lungs, then prayer can become one of the deepest joys of your day. Don’t miss out!
A PERSPECTIVE ABOUT PRAYER
To pray is to believe that God not only hears, but that He responds. It is to stand in the gap for a broken world, wielding the authority of Christ, empowered by the Spirit, and trusting in the goodness of the Father. The question is not whether prayer works, but whether we are willing to pray the kinds of prayers that invite God’s Kingdom into the darkest places of the earth—and of our own hearts.
We may never fully understand the mechanics of prayer, or how it intersects with God's sovereignty, but we are not called to understand everything. We are called to be faithful. And faithfulness means showing up—in prayer, in persistence, in expectation.
So today, let us pray not only for the comfort of our hearts, but for the transformation of the world. Let us take our place as image-bearers, co-laborers, and co-heirs. Let us believe that God is still listening—and still acting. Because He is.
There’s only one way to find out what might happen when we truly pray like this.
Let’s begin.
THE MINDSET BEHIND THIS COURSE
Before we begin, let me tell you the obvious: I don’t really know how to pray. I’m a humble student and absolute beginner at the holy endeavor that is prayer. So, this course isn’t really about what I’ve learned, or any wisdom I might have gathered. But, I’ve sat at the feet of many prayer warriors over the decades, through books and teachings.
So, I’ll share what I learned from them. Humility is going to be our primary heart posture! With each lesson, I will offer a few thoughts, practices, and ideas – with much humility, and not taking myself too seriously. I will also share her favorite books and resources about prayer. FInally, I will introduce you to some of the most influential prayer warriors of our history as the Body of Christ.
Most importantly, I will invite YOU to pray! Learning to pray comes from praying. Our humble ambition is to inspire you to pray, and to give you a few tips on how to do that. Then, it’s up to you! Prayer is a lifelong endeavor. Let’s make it delightful together!
So, let’s get started.
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