Besides just the cheesiness of doing a relationship sermon on Valentine’s Day, this sermon was originally scheduled on another day so as not to rain on the parade of everyone. Yet, here it is. Because all humans are made in the image of God, it makes sense that it is easy for us to idolize another human. To start with the bottom line, relationships were never meant to be used for the fulfillment of our needs, they were always meant to compliment us. However, when we look to the compliment to become our fulfillment it will always leave us in disappointment. The reality is that when I need someone, I’m not really loving them for them. I am objectifying them in order to fulfill my own needs. We tend to make two mistakes on this front: either we feel incomplete and look to someone else to complete us, or we believe that we actually are complete and fulfilled in and of ourselves. The message of the gospel, however, tells us something entirely different.
All of this is illustrated by the story of Jacob in Genesis 29 going to the house of his mother’s brother, Laban, in order to take a wife. While the story of Jacob’s love for Rachel can be romanticized as an extravagant story of laboring for love, it’s actually a perfect example of toxicity in relationships. Through the development of Jacob working 14 years as payment to take Leah and Rachel as his wives, Laban tricking Jacob into marrying Leah, and Leah being stuck in the trap of always feeling unloved by her husband, we see at least 3 principles that are true of someone who is pursuing a relationship out of the place of unmet needs. They will sacrifice more than is healthy, they project things onto the relationship that aren’t there, and they will miss red flags. We can break free from relationships like this when we find our worth, our satisfaction, and our fulfillment in the person and sacrifice of Jesus. And only then can we receive relationships as a compliment to who we have been made to be rather than seeking relationships as the fulfillment of who we are.