There's a big promise out there that we often hear in our culture...if you wait until marriage to have sex it will be the most united and amazing experience of your life!

Yet, for many couples, the opposite tends to be true. Sex can feel awkward, weird, and unsatisfying. The lesson from youth that sex is bad is hard to suddenly shake once "I do" is said. The same feelings of shame and guilt around sex follow us into marriage and don't go away.

This was Derek's experience, a devout Catholic who says he followed all the rules and expected his married sex life to “be on fire”...but it wasn’t. Sex felt awkward, he and his wife couldn’t find a rhythm, and their sex life ended up feeling transactional. 

My conversation with Derek is eye-opening as to why it can be so hard to look at the meaning and purpose of sex in a new light. 

Join the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here. Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A. Registration closes Oct. 1

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