Patrick Gutfield skewers the surreal headlines of the day, starting with Donald Trump’s all-caps declaration of a “COMPLETE and TOTAL” 12-hour Israel-Iran ceasefire—an overnight timeout that feels more like a homework deadline than real diplomacy. From Truth Social theatrics to Iran’s pre-announced missile “warning shot” at a U.S. base in Qatar, Patrick dissects every eyebrow-raising detail and asks whether a subscription-style truce can really end decades of tension.Then it’s off to the Everglades, where Florida’s plan for a migrant detention camp dubbed “Alligator Alcatraz” turns Trump’s moat fantasies into humid reality. Natural security courtesy of gators and pythons? Check. Canvas tents in peak summer heat? Double-check.