The album came about as a collection of feelings and memories I had of the year to this point (2019). Having lost my Step-Father, Father and Uncle within months of each other my mood was rightly reflective, sometimes sombre. The music captures these and how these events were also changing my own outlook and relationship with others.

Release Date: 19th December 2019

More info: The album will be available to buy and stream in all the usual places (links TBC)

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Track Listing

1. I Will Miss You – The title says it all.
2. Been A Long Time Without You – Even though I have relatively recently only lost these people, it feels like it has been so long since I have seen them. I wrote the lyrics by the beach, which is referenced in the track and time stamps the track to that exact period in time.
3. Deep Sweet Dreams – Shortly after losing my Step-Father and Father I had dreams about them. The dreams were vivid and highly realistic and I woke up questioning reality. I had to talk myself through the parallel feelings I was getting.
4. Tough Love – It’s up to you. The more you love, the more you have to lose, but it’s worth taking the risk for the pain. You can’t have one without the other.
5. God Knows – Whether God exists or not is not the question. Changes I saw in some people caught me off guard and left me stunned. I was lied to, deceived and made to question relationships and reality. The truth exists out there in it’s purest form. People distort that reality to suit their circumstances. The notion of God really is a metaphor for a single truth existing.
6. Heaven Wins – There is only one place that wins out of life and that is heaven.
7. Let Me Hold You (‘Til The Pain Goes) – The sense of feeling useless when you watch people you love disappear in front of you. There is nothing you can do about that other than hold them and hope.
8. Off My Mind – Grief can be so consuming (always on your mind) that you don’t recognise you are suffering and you can’t see through it. I called it ‘The Fog’. The only time I could think clearly was by making music.
9. Unanswered – Questioning yourself can make you fall deeper into a darker place unless you find answers or learn to let those unanswered questions go.
10. Another Day – This track has 2 meanings; one day everyone will have their last day, but others who remain will always be looking for one extra day. It also considers that if there is another world that exists then we all might meet again.
11. Thought Of You – How beautiful life can be whilst you keep the images of goodness and light in your heart. Remember the good times. Those will serve you through life and death.
12. Eyes Are Open Wide – The song is about understanding terminology used by doctors, where you have to read between the lines. The lack of information drives you to speculate. You must remain positive but you can’t help feeling all is not well. The ‘Calling My Name’ line refers to my Uncle becoming confused and disorientated in his final few days trying to pull medical equipment out of himself and calling out my father’s name.
13. On My Way – I received a call at 05:45 on Sunday the 17th of March calling me to the hospital. The music represents the thoughts that were running through my mind and the levels of anxiety, not knowing what to expect when I arrived.
14. Not Going Under – I wrote this as soon as I got the news about my Uncle. While it sounds a bit dark it is strangely positive. When writing these lyrics, I was focussed on not allowing myself to allow these constant stressful events to bring me down. However, I might have already been in over my head.
15. Please Just Walk Away – In response to some things that were said to me, the track became my outlet instantly.