We’re starting off with something a little more serious this week: news broke of Jeffrey Epstein’s death as Prince Andrew and Fergie joined the Queen and Prince Philip in Balmoral. Oh, to be a bat on the wall at that dinner table… We’re also talking about Prince Harry’s latest crime — pedicures — while Meghan Markle gears up to go all trout on her summer holiday in Scotland. Elsewhere, Kate Middleton and Prince William battle it out in a yacht race, cheered on by Prince George, the pirate king, and Princess Charlotte, who has a new signature move. Finally, we’ve got an update on the Turnip Toffs’ “code of omertà” over the rumoured affair between Will and Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley.