Perched outside the Vatican Of News awaiting puffs of white smoke, which this week arrive in the following fashion …

… Brandi Carlile’s Mothership Weekend and her genius for publicity.

… Jim Morrison is alive and living in Syracuse, New York!: barrel-scraping new rock documentary incoming.

… Hip Hop Wealth v Rock Wealth: the $57m house Kayne West bought, gutted and left to disintegrate.

… real or fictional ‘religious’ musicians – Saint Pepsi, Cardinal Rex, Pope Plastique, the Reverend Horton Heat?

…. Lady Gaga at Cobacabana Beach and is there anywhere in the UK you could feasibly hold a concert for two million people?

… “Crafting smiles for today’s legends’: Kayne West’s devious dentist.

… is Elvis still ‘sighted in Brent Cross Shopping Centre’?

… the Noel Gallagher sunglasses range! The ‘She’s Electric’ train route to Wembley!: the eternal churn of the Oasis rumour mill.

… the life and luck of Peter Capaldi, one minute supporting Altered Images, the next in a movie with Burt Lancaster.

… is there music for everyone anymore or is it all repackaged for subsects of the population?

… ‘the towering gates of Sean Combs' estate have flaming torches burning day and night’.

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