My guest is Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona and a world expert on the science of grief and loss. We discuss what happens in the brain and body when we grieve, the role of dopamine and yearning in the grieving process, the health risks of getting stuck at particular stages of grief and how to move through loss while also deeply honoring the person, animal or thing that is no longer with us. Dr. O’Connor explains that grief involves cycling back and forth between protest and despair (often guilt and anger too) and explains science-supported ways to move through that process in the healthiest possible way. Everyone experiences grief and loss at some point. Dr. O’Connor provides valuable knowledge and tools to help you navigate grief under any circumstance.
Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.
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Timestamps
00:00:00 Mary-Frances O’Connor
00:02:22 Grief vs Grieving; Love & Bonding, Gone Yet Everlasting
00:07:42 Sponsors: Wealthfront & BetterHelp
00:10:29 Sudden vs Slow Death, Attachment, Reframing Relationship
00:14:52 Religion, Integrating the New Relationship
00:20:46 Yearning, Dopamine, Brain, Addiction
00:27:58 Culture & Grief Literacy; Protest, Despair & Hope, New Relationships
00:40:09 Sponsors: AG1 & Helix Sleep
00:43:21 Protest, Despair & Transmutation; Changing Attachment Hierarchy
00:52:04 Bereavement Support, Medical Risk
01:05:27 Culture, Alcohol & Death; Dying of a Broken Heart, Medical Risk
01:13:40 Sponsor: Function
01:15:28 Navigating Grief, Emotions & Body, Tool: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
01:23:57 Grief Stages; Permission & Coping, Judgment & Guilt; Lessons from Grief
01:35:44 Grieving Suicide, Rumination, Tool: Shifting Environment
01:47:24 Belief Systems, Religion & Grief
01:54:17 Afterlife, Contemplating Death
01:58:35 Tools: Contemplating Death; Life Celebration, Terror Management, Empathy
02:07:46 Mental Oscillation, Dual Model of Bereavement
02:14:00 Avoidance; Remembering a Loved One, Resilience; Getting Worse & Seeking Professional Help
02:22:15 Time Perception & End of Life, Motivation & Energy
02:30:01 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
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