Fountain App
Podcasters
Artists
Resources
Home
Feed
Charts
Wallet
Profile
Seven Minutes To Bedtime • Listen on Fountain
Seven Minutes To Bedtime
Rick and Sydney Sanchez
Show • 433 episodes
Comment
That inexact time just before lights out where some of the most interesting conversations happen...
Episodes
Activity
Weekly Recap 2/12
Episode • Feb 12, 2016
He's our friend, he's ok with it.
Episode • Feb 11, 2016
You don't embarrass me.
Episode • Feb 10, 2016
I suppose that's a good idea because you don't want to look like a jackass.
Episode • Feb 9, 2016
Why would you want your head to look like a stop sign?
Episode • Feb 8, 2016
Lifelong curiosity
Episode • Feb 6, 2016
I don't need you here anymore, go back to work.
Episode • Feb 4, 2016
You got a lettermans jacket.
Episode • Feb 3, 2016
So it's like boom, chink, clunk.
Episode • Feb 2, 2016
And she's not afraid to get dirty.
Episode • Feb 1, 2016
You just used 30 words that I don't know in one sentence
Episode • Jan 31, 2016
Weekly recap 1/28
Episode • Jan 28, 2016
Everything is a lie
Episode • Jan 27, 2016
One should be enough
Episode • Jan 26, 2016
I lied a lot to you growing up.
Episode • Jan 25, 2016
You do not have a specific taste palate.
Episode • Jan 24, 2016
Second week in a row, mommy knows the killer on 48 hours.
Episode • Jan 23, 2016
I love you, but you puked a lot on me when you were younger.
Episode • Jan 22, 2016
Sometimes things are just too much to handle.
Episode • Jan 21, 2016
When we go to see Star Wars next, you'll drive.
Episode • Jan 20, 2016
Ok, don't do that, first of all.
Episode • Jan 19, 2016
Bedtime is Bedtime, don't get out of bed.
Episode • Jan 18, 2016
It's entirely possible that your mother dreamed that.
Episode • Jan 17, 2016
Weekly Recap 1/14
Episode • Jan 14, 2016
It's the SAME song.
Episode • Jan 14, 2016
I could totally see that.
Episode • Jan 13, 2016
You see what I did there?
Episode • Jan 12, 2016
I was glued to the screen the entire time.
Episode • Jan 11, 2016
So, let's go back...What's a piranha gun?
Episode • Jan 10, 2016
Lets make this quick, I have to pee.
Episode • Jan 9, 2016
You're not the only one entitled to crazy dreams.
Episode • Jan 8, 2016
Weekly Recap 1/7
Episode • Jan 7, 2016
Maybe he just needs a little encouragement.
Episode • Jan 7, 2016
Are you still mad?
Episode • Jan 6, 2016
It's just not as impressive to me as a mime juggling.
Episode • Jan 4, 2016
That's not true. We took it to e-recycling.
Episode • Jan 3, 2016
You dropped me on my head so many times.
Episode • Jan 2, 2016
I like doodles, doodles are the journey.
Episode • Jan 1, 2016
When do we ever look at a clock?
Episode • Dec 30, 2015
How interesting this must be.
Episode • Dec 28, 2015
I think you think it's a preference because for a long time it's been a necessity.
Episode • Dec 27, 2015
I don't know if I believe that either.
Episode • Dec 26, 2015
Do you have a favorite gift?
Episode • Dec 25, 2015
Santa's going to be pretty teed off that we didn't leave him cookies.
Episode • Dec 24, 2015
Aren't we all out of order?
Episode • Dec 22, 2015
This is not a free licence for you to go back into bad habits.
Episode • Dec 21, 2015
I don't see any lice, but I do see three 6's.
Episode • Dec 19, 2015
You're like a puppet master, you just close a tab.
Episode • Dec 18, 2015
'Cause you sleep in a big pile of crap.
Episode • Dec 17, 2015
Weekly Recap 12/17
Episode • Dec 17, 2015
Aaaah, dumb. Stupid, stupid,stupid, stupid, stupid...line.
Episode • Dec 16, 2015
Peeple don't understand Halloween.
Episode • Dec 15, 2015
Are you certain that you're hearing those all in context?
Episode • Dec 14, 2015
What the world expects from you.
Episode • Dec 13, 2015
You seemed cool, you had cool hair.
Episode • Dec 11, 2015
Silence is uncomfortable.
Episode • Dec 10, 2015
It's not my room if I don't enjoy it.
Episode • Dec 9, 2015
I'll give you hair dye if you come to work with me.
Episode • Dec 8, 2015
Yeah, that's a good guess.
Episode • Dec 7, 2015
Somebody ends up with a black eye.
Episode • Dec 6, 2015
Weekly recap 12/03
Episode • Dec 3, 2015
Yep, that's a Shakespearean lift.
Episode • Dec 3, 2015
I have to do the math.
Episode • Dec 2, 2015
I expect to have grandkids by the time I'm sixty four.
Episode • Dec 1, 2015
It needs to be recorded, I need to see this.
Episode • Nov 30, 2015
So don't repeat that at school yet.
Episode • Nov 29, 2015
We have a really odd family dynamic.
Episode • Nov 26, 2015
Ho, ho, ho...Baby with the weird shaped head.
Episode • Nov 25, 2015
He would feed me a handful of facts.
Episode • Nov 23, 2015
Hopefully that doesn't mean I'll forget one of my three kids names.
Episode • Nov 22, 2015
So grandma P is the grandmother from Caillou?
Episode • Nov 21, 2015
They were responsible for my hour and a half commute, One Direction was.
Episode • Nov 19, 2015
Weekly Recap 11/20
Episode • Nov 19, 2015
No, like I'm gonna puke.
Episode • Nov 18, 2015
I would be a fantastic criminal.
Episode • Nov 17, 2015
Not all of it is important, but all of it is really, really disgusting.
Episode • Nov 15, 2015
The truth is, God works through people.
Episode • Nov 14, 2015
That's actually my name, don't actually rob me.
Episode • Nov 13, 2015
Making your bed is a ritualistic piece.
Episode • Nov 12, 2015
Weekly Recap 11/12
Episode • Nov 12, 2015
A firm chunk of cat.
Episode • Nov 11, 2015
Look, your the predator now.
Episode • Nov 10, 2015
There's a special kind of magic that happens.
Episode • Nov 9, 2015
That's a wonderful thought to put me to bed with
Episode • Nov 8, 2015
We're already talking about the death of a fish we haven't even bought yet.
Episode • Nov 7, 2015
I'm my own Barbie head.
Episode • Nov 6, 2015
I bet there's a dirty sock in your bed right now.
Episode • Nov 5, 2015
Weekly Recap 11/05
Episode • Nov 5, 2015
Because its true. True statistics.
Episode • Nov 4, 2015
I'm gonna Google it in the morning.
Episode • Nov 3, 2015
I would never be able to eat someone
Episode • Nov 3, 2015
It's like a salmon smoothie.
Episode • Nov 1, 2015
Please give us the pizza!
Episode • Oct 31, 2015
Weekly recap 10/29
Episode • Oct 29, 2015
You can't just walk in and be like, "Hey put me in the haunted house."
Episode • Oct 28, 2015
You're growing up in an era where there is tons of technology that allows you to do that.
Episode • Oct 27, 2015
Oh my gosh, it's just the water guy.
Episode • Oct 26, 2015
You could make any story sounds boring
Episode • Oct 25, 2015
Like, entry level gang members, like, seventh graders...I could probably take them.
Episode • Oct 23, 2015
You had me at hello.
Episode • Oct 22, 2015
Weekly Recap 10/22
Episode • Oct 22, 2015
You have to say a prayer because I have to Qtip my ears.
Episode • Oct 21, 2015
Kit Kat. Kit Kat.
Episode • Oct 20, 2015
Saying stupid things just to get attention.
Episode • Oct 18, 2015
Cause that's the noise we use for everything.
Episode • Oct 17, 2015
Weekly Recap 10/15
Episode • Oct 15, 2015
I think I've seen lightning, like, once.
Episode • Oct 14, 2015
Maybe we can actually get some grass back
Episode • Oct 13, 2015
Do you want to talk about the elephant in the room?
Episode • Oct 12, 2015
8 gigabytes is a lot of gigabytes.
Episode • Oct 11, 2015
You want to turn into a father daughter vigilante thing?
Episode • Oct 10, 2015
That kind of makes my heart feel hurt.
Episode • Oct 9, 2015
I don't know how to explain it in a good way.
Episode • Oct 8, 2015
Weekly Recap 10/8
Episode • Oct 8, 2015
I immediately regretted watching it sitting in the house alone.
Episode • Oct 7, 2015
It's ok, I don't either.
Episode • Oct 6, 2015
So, you can dress up on campus?
Episode • Oct 5, 2015
That's called a Billy Ray, by the way.
Episode • Oct 4, 2015
Barbies rundown crackhouse.
Episode • Oct 3, 2015
You would be effectively waterboarding yourself.
Episode • Oct 2, 2015
Weekly Recap
Episode • Oct 1, 2015
Your ultimate goal is to make money.
Episode • Oct 1, 2015
You don't know how to handle your own failures and not being great.
Episode • Sep 30, 2015
Popular, I know about popular.
Episode • Sep 29, 2015
I would have made you wash with bleach.
Episode • Sep 28, 2015
You got my wigs sweaty, I assume you'll get my hat sweaty too.
Episode • Sep 27, 2015
My mom stuck my dead hamster on their fence.
Episode • Sep 26, 2015
Don't actually die though. The paperwork involved in that would suck.
Episode • Sep 25, 2015
It's definitely a part of you but it's not entirely who you are.
Episode • Sep 24, 2015
Weekly Recap
Episode • Sep 24, 2015
I get it. I hear you, but too bad.
Episode • Sep 23, 2015
Make up something that's a little more appropriate for your age
Episode • Sep 22, 2015
Don't live your life as a meme.
Episode • Sep 21, 2015
You bought really good cheese and you hid it from me?
Episode • Sep 20, 2015
You got the bad luck of teeth.
Episode • Sep 19, 2015
Did you speak French with Kody yesterday?
Episode • Sep 18, 2015
Don't say the F-word.
Episode • Sep 17, 2015
Weekly Recap, 9/18
Episode • Sep 17, 2015
That's why I do so poorly at Socratic seminars.
Episode • Sep 16, 2015
Listen, you're a Freshman in high school, maybe it's time you start keeping track yourself.
Episode • Sep 15, 2015
One of these days you'll realize that I am the smartest person you know.
Episode • Sep 14, 2015
Missing assignments is where I'll focus my energies.
Episode • Sep 13, 2015
I don't think that's true, because I'm currently a child.
Episode • Sep 12, 2015
You shouldn't even upload this episode...
Episode • Sep 11, 2015
I want you to participate in those things that you find enjoyable that are non school related.
Episode • Sep 10, 2015
Weekly Recap 9/10/15
Episode • Sep 10, 2015
If that happens, I'll go pretty quickly, which brings me some peace.
Episode • Sep 9, 2015
I am definitely going to be average, like, solidly in the bottom of the middle.
Episode • Sep 8, 2015
I'm not going to wear a Halloween costume to a Con.
Episode • Sep 6, 2015
I'm not going to sugar coat this. I need new pillows.
Episode • Sep 5, 2015
I feel like your perception of me and how my brain works is from the past.
Episode • Sep 4, 2015
Weekly Recap
Episode • Sep 3, 2015
Yeah, I'm selling organs on the black market.
Episode • Sep 3, 2015
That sounds like the start of am exciting year.
Episode • Sep 2, 2015
Another 9 more years and your brain will be fully formed.
Episode • Sep 1, 2015
I think I'm so sad, but I'm so happy right now.
Episode • Aug 31, 2015
You're at a Con, you do Con stuff...
Episode • Aug 30, 2015
Weekly Recap, 8/23
Episode • Aug 27, 2015
So pretend like I'm telling you you're not going to the Con...
Episode • Aug 27, 2015
I guessed the password. I got it on the first try.
Episode • Aug 26, 2015
Good talk, Son.
Episode • Aug 25, 2015
Oh boy, I can't do that math in my head.
Episode • Aug 24, 2015
How we handle disappointment..
Episode • Aug 23, 2015
I was secretly giggling to myself.
Episode • Aug 22, 2015
Oh my gosh, my toe's a celebrity.
Episode • Aug 21, 2015
So, are you going to talk to us about our coyote encounter?
Episode • Aug 20, 2015
How did you end up toasting marshmallow on our kitchen stove?
Episode • Aug 19, 2015
Weekly Recap - 8/16
Episode • Aug 19, 2015
It says, "Introduction to kinesiology." Is that what they call PE?
Episode • Aug 18, 2015
I can't just be the wingman...
Episode • Aug 17, 2015
You said "A towel made of water," I can't say "Like breathing in Jello?"
Episode • Aug 16, 2015
Do you mind if I butt in right here before you keep going?
Episode • Aug 15, 2015
You want Bling. I want Bling too.
Episode • Aug 14, 2015
Weekly Recap
Episode • Aug 12, 2015
You have to curb your excitement, you can't get killed in the process.
Episode • Aug 10, 2015
Older brothers can do this to younger sisters.
Episode • Aug 9, 2015
Go to bed... Like, actual bed.
Episode • Aug 8, 2015
Nothing good happens after 2 o'clock.
Episode • Aug 6, 2015
I didn't read his sign, but he was holding a sign.
Episode • Aug 5, 2015
Don't be surprised if all of your stuff is out on the front porch tomorrow.
Episode • Aug 4, 2015
No part of me is only school.
Episode • Aug 3, 2015
Weekly Recap
Episode • Aug 2, 2015
I feel like sometimes you underestimate me...
Episode • Aug 1, 2015
I think most artists dislike their own work.
Episode • Jul 31, 2015
Where was the outrage when we were killing all those other lions?
Episode • Jul 29, 2015
I'm 14 years old and I'm not grown up and mature...
Episode • Jul 28, 2015
Isn't "You walk like a guy" similar to "You throw like a girl?"
Episode • Jul 27, 2015
So until the intense shining spotlight dims down a bit...
Episode • Jul 26, 2015
Not into the ocean. That would make my problem worse.
Episode • Jul 25, 2015
What's the difference between stacked and piled?
Episode • Jul 24, 2015
Wearing the Cosplay makes me feel really, like, weirdly confidant.
Episode • Jul 23, 2015
My art history knowledge is poor.
Episode • Jul 22, 2015
I think the volunteers would have to be unwilling.
Episode • Jul 21, 2015
The destination is Trust.
Episode • Jul 20, 2015
Don't do that. It's not as cool as you think.
Episode • Jul 19, 2015
Lately I feel like I'm, like, doing something with my life.
Episode • Jul 18, 2015
So, like I said, I don't know if it's appropriate to tell you...
Episode • Jul 17, 2015
She broke a foot, Talia did...
Episode • Jul 16, 2015
Well maybe you could throw a fart joke or two in there.
Episode • Jul 15, 2015
If you actually had the anatomy of a hand that I drew, you'd never be able to open a can.
Episode • Jul 14, 2015
I don't have to get up and run around in at class.
Episode • Jul 13, 2015
I think I'm going to get another wig.
Episode • Jul 12, 2015
It's not a matter of opinion of they're in the community, it's fact.
Episode • Jul 11, 2015
Will wash babies for food. He had a sign.
Episode • Jul 10, 2015
I'm never gonna be talking about colors like colors wearing sunglasses.
Episode • Jul 9, 2015
It didn't start out as a positive message.
Episode • Jul 8, 2015
And you play for shoes and cigarettes and dime bags of cocaine.
Episode • Jul 7, 2015
Wow, so not where I thought you were going to go with that.
Episode • Jul 6, 2015
You can lay in it, you just can't eat it.
Episode • Jul 5, 2015
How did we get to talking about the different types of old people?
Episode • Jul 3, 2015
I don't want you making long term decisions based on short term problems.
Episode • Jul 2, 2015
So how is your summer going?
Episode • Jul 1, 2015
Funny, you don't look like a 14 year old girl.
Episode • Jun 28, 2015
You're not as funny tonight as you were last night.
Episode • Jun 27, 2015
That's you. You look like a chicken leg.
Episode • Jun 26, 2015
It's like someone just stuck a needle in my throat.
Episode • Jun 25, 2015
Reading through an encyclopedia is like walking through a Dollar Tree.
Episode • Jun 24, 2015
Modem art.
Episode • Jun 23, 2015
That's what you're taking exception with out of that sentence?
Episode • Jun 22, 2015
Not everyone was a professional comedian for a portion of their life.
Episode • Jun 21, 2015
That's the perfect amount of grime.
Episode • Jun 19, 2015
Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean it's a holiday from cleanliness.
Episode • Jun 18, 2015
Putting rocks in CK's water.
Episode • Jun 17, 2015
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Episode • Jun 16, 2015
The green thing actually got me more excited for high school.
Episode • Jun 15, 2015
So, when 8th grade is over and high school begins, I'm going to be expecting more original content.
Episode • Jun 14, 2015
It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Episode • Jun 11, 2015
We don't dig no chicks with buns and glasses.
Episode • Jun 10, 2015
My finger is just so disproportionate.
Episode • Jun 9, 2015
High school was the best 35 years of my life.
Episode • Jun 8, 2015
It would be things that are interesting to me.
Episode • Jun 7, 2015
I'm gonna cut you short unless you have something interesting to say.
Episode • Jun 6, 2015
That's what every almost 50 year old man wants to look like.
Episode • Jun 5, 2015
Oh my gosh, have you seen your knees?
Episode • Jun 4, 2015
They pride themselves on being kinda smart and sassy.
Episode • Jun 3, 2015
I'd really like to do something about this world hunger thing, but, uh...
Episode • Jun 2, 2015
Persperating. That sounds so much cooler though. Just let it happen.
Episode • Jun 1, 2015
We're not the heros society makes us out to be.
Episode • May 31, 2015
Instead of shaming fat people, they're shaming thin supermodels.
Episode • May 30, 2015
Extra lunch period could be extra math period.
Episode • May 29, 2015
If they were a snack or one of those physics things, I'd buy it.
Episode • May 28, 2015
Answer the question, Rick.
Episode • May 27, 2015
I am not History class. I am not offering more questions than answers.
Episode • May 26, 2015
Why'dya stop doing fun stuff when I was born?
Episode • May 25, 2015
Booya! No school tomorrow.
Episode • May 24, 2015
Not the chocolate milk stains. Those are my favorite.
Episode • May 23, 2015
When you eventually get your TED talk, lead with that.
Episode • May 21, 2015
It's something that a pirate would stereotypically say
Episode • May 20, 2015
I was trying to think if something interesting had happened to me today.
Episode • May 19, 2015
I didn't say it was a joke, I said it was a lie.
Episode • May 18, 2015
TCB. What? Take care of business. I thought it was a sandwich.
Episode • May 17, 2015
That's just what the Pikstick was invented for, so 13 year old girls could give their fathers wedgies.
Episode • May 16, 2015
So pee and poop would be fine, but throw up is where you draw the line?
Episode • May 15, 2015
Like, crunchy foods world hurt.
Episode • May 14, 2015
I'd go 1000 miles per hour always.
Episode • May 13, 2015
And maybe not the being held in a cage by our gym teacher.
Episode • May 12, 2015
You'll be an old lady by then.
Episode • May 11, 2015
There you go, that's it, make a tshirt.
Episode • May 10, 2015
This entire cubby is filled with my porcelain dolls.
Episode • May 9, 2015
This is a look in the life of Sydney.
Episode • May 8, 2015
There's always two teams that are like, "What is a baseball? "
Episode • May 7, 2015
You could be eating fish baby pudding.
Episode • May 6, 2015
Pigs. Where is this going?
Episode • May 5, 2015
Longer tongues are just better for turning.
Episode • May 4, 2015
That's the deal you make for freedom.
Episode • May 3, 2015
It's not disappointment, it's fear.
Episode • May 2, 2015
I'm going to high school, I gotta spread my wings.
Episode • May 1, 2015
I am throwing shade. Don't tell him I said that.
Episode • Apr 30, 2015
Was it a good hot dog? Like a big all beef 4 to 1?
Episode • Apr 29, 2015
"Hey, don't support gay people son."
Episode • Apr 28, 2015
I like my regularity in my sleep and on my bowel movements.
Episode • Apr 27, 2015
And then Rose. Rose is not a skinny waif girl.
Episode • Apr 26, 2015
Nice to see that John Travolta in drag is sending the same message that I have been trying to send.
Episode • Apr 25, 2015
I felt myself being nervous for him.
Episode • Apr 24, 2015
I know what all of those words mean and none of the content.
Episode • Apr 23, 2015
Can you hold off until we're finished, and then we'll let you rob us?
Episode • Apr 22, 2015
That just sucked...horrible... Miserable freakin' Day...
Episode • Apr 21, 2015
I believe my daughters have the same right to a good night sleep as my sons.
Episode • Apr 20, 2015
But I do like me some worship band.
Episode • Apr 19, 2015
Can we wrap this up? Your voice is making me tired.
Episode • Apr 18, 2015
If your leg falls off, call me.
Episode • Apr 17, 2015
Good talk, man.
Episode • Apr 16, 2015
'Cause I'd prefer to talk about that than Spanx.
Episode • Apr 15, 2015
We have so many bigger things to worry about.
Episode • Apr 14, 2015
Mommy likes the more traditional mummy cats, with the white tape on them.
Episode • Apr 13, 2015
Where did you learn all this crazy?
Episode • Apr 12, 2015
I don't need my historian studies from sixth grade.
Episode • Apr 11, 2015
If I ever get arrested, I'll thank Mrs. Matt.
Episode • Apr 10, 2015
I was very proud of myself for that dated reference.
Episode • Apr 9, 2015
On a completely different note, can I shave the side of my head?
Episode • Apr 8, 2015
Dude, you wanna sneak behind the bleachers and eat some broccoli?
Episode • Apr 6, 2015
You had to bring it full circle, didn't you?
Episode • Apr 5, 2015
Instead of saying a prayer, I almost said my phone number.
Episode • Apr 4, 2015
A pen you shall keep. Your hands are disgusting.
Episode • Apr 3, 2015
I think I was in prison when you were in kindergarten.
Episode • Apr 2, 2015
It's so tiny. I don't know why their calling it a fence.
Episode • Apr 1, 2015
I was sitting there crying in 6th period and I didn't know what to do.
Episode • Mar 31, 2015
And we're stuck, crouched in a bush...
Episode • Mar 30, 2015
You had an epic beard when you were two.
Episode • Mar 29, 2015
We're gonna suck, but we're still going to have a fantastic time.
Episode • Mar 28, 2015
Maybe it won't kill me, but it might kill you.
Episode • Mar 27, 2015
Don't be afraid to leave it on stage.
Episode • Mar 26, 2015
Zayn Malik is a beautiful human being.
Episode • Mar 25, 2015
Your always playing for second, boys.
Episode • Mar 24, 2015
I'm not gonna get in trouble about some pajama pants.
Episode • Mar 23, 2015
You've said "like," like, 15 times in that sentence.
Episode • Mar 22, 2015
Don't be a jerk.
Episode • Mar 21, 2015
Does the sound effect help?
Episode • Mar 20, 2015
That's not gonna happen, Ricky-boy.
Episode • Mar 19, 2015
You turn a lot of conversations into lectures.
Episode • Mar 18, 2015
I'll try anything once. Except for guacamole.
Episode • Mar 17, 2015
Sleeping and snoring.
Episode • Mar 16, 2015
Asmr no more questions.
Episode • Mar 15, 2015
We missed ultimate pi day.
Episode • Mar 14, 2015
If you make anything with oven, pan needs to be cleaned.
Episode • Mar 13, 2015
We're raising people.
Episode • Mar 12, 2015
Their parents must have been horrible.
Episode • Mar 11, 2015
I had a hat and a do-rag on in that picture.
Episode • Mar 10, 2015
It's like a White Elephant version of The Bachelor.
Episode • Mar 9, 2015
"Took your baby. BRB."
Episode • Mar 8, 2015
They just put 'em in a box with a plexiglass top on it.
Episode • Mar 7, 2015
Seriously? You thought I was coming at you with a tongue?
Episode • Mar 6, 2015
Your group is exactly who your group is.
Episode • Mar 5, 2015
You have actual, like, purple bags under your eyes.
Episode • Mar 4, 2015
Oh look, it's the Blue Man Group.
Episode • Mar 3, 2015
That behavior stops when it starts being illuminated.
Episode • Mar 2, 2015
If the ice cream truck is playing music, they are out of ice cream.
Episode • Mar 1, 2015
Tough to do a podcast when Syd is sleeping.
Episode • Feb 28, 2015
Sydney is at a sleepover
Episode • Feb 27, 2015
I dare you to eat that broccoli.
Episode • Feb 26, 2015
I'm not even afraid of mimes.
Episode • Feb 25, 2015
Lipsticks don't dry out.
Episode • Feb 24, 2015
I will be "owning your iPad and phone Dad."
Episode • Feb 23, 2015
So, apparently, you have the cognitive thinking ability of a 3 year old.
Episode • Feb 22, 2015
We'd get you a really nice hook... well, not like a pirates hook.
Episode • Feb 21, 2015
Flowers for Algernon
Episode • Feb 20, 2015
The phrase tearing meat and spilling flesh was definitely in there.
Episode • Feb 19, 2015
Improvement is the metric that everybody looks at.
Episode • Feb 18, 2015
Well, she's a witch. Whatja expect?
Episode • Feb 17, 2015
If you look it up, you'll find it.
Episode • Feb 16, 2015
That is true, some of it is gonna suck. But, I can promise you, it won't all suck.
Episode • Feb 15, 2015
What happens next is pure magic.
Episode • Feb 14, 2015
I feel bad for laughing at those commercials. And rightfully, you should.
Episode • Feb 13, 2015
Perfect scores are not always the most, um, beneficial.
Episode • Feb 12, 2015
I owe you an apology.
Episode • Feb 11, 2015
You do NOT have crippling social anxiety.
Episode • Feb 10, 2015
I don't see anything wrong with having a pizza on our time, Mr. Hand.
Episode • Feb 9, 2015
In Dog we trust.
Episode • Feb 8, 2015
A tired Sydney is like a completely untired Kody.
Episode • Feb 7, 2015
I have to tell you, I hated Marley &Me.
Episode • Feb 6, 2015
We're dusting for prints and yours aren't on that arrow.
Episode • Feb 5, 2015
I could rule the world!
Episode • Feb 4, 2015
It doesn't scare me. It just makes me like...
Episode • Feb 3, 2015
We never would have secretly wished that Brett Michaels was in a relationship with Nikki Sixx.
Episode • Feb 2, 2015
We are God.
Episode • Feb 1, 2015
Redhead, sorry. Is that an offensive term?
Episode • Jan 31, 2015
It smells like cookies. Don't even start with me.
Episode • Jan 30, 2015
Dosi-doh your partner, and you dosi-doh your corner...
Episode • Jan 29, 2015
You have to stop being shocked that you're good at math.
Episode • Jan 28, 2015
I will make a scene. I will make a complete scene.
Episode • Jan 27, 2015
I'm not sure what the standard for clay balls in bed is.
Episode • Jan 26, 2015
I thought it was, like, a "peace" sign...or a chicken foot.
Episode • Jan 25, 2015
We couldn't be alive right now... But we're alive right now.
Episode • Jan 24, 2015
I don't think the amount of thumbs really counts for the places your going.
Episode • Jan 23, 2015
Moshdi was a neat guy until he started chasing squirrels and throwing things at them.
Episode • Jan 22, 2015
Drawing skeletons on your hand is not the kind of thing that's going to get you an A.
Episode • Jan 21, 2015
I feel like I need to have a talk with Susan.
Episode • Jan 20, 2015
Try lots of things, you're going to suck at lots of them...
Episode • Jan 19, 2015
You smell like Kickin' Crab.
Episode • Jan 18, 2015
That happened. They swung me and threw me in a bush.
Episode • Jan 17, 2015
Just pull your middle finger out of the jar you keep it in.
Episode • Jan 16, 2015
Life goes how it goes...
Episode • Jan 15, 2015
I need to get Ashton and Luke out from behind my bed.
Episode • Jan 14, 2015
I wasn't always the phenomenal father that I am today.
Episode • Jan 13, 2015
Dad's advice on coping. (vol. 2)
Episode • Jan 12, 2015
I wouldn't go any kind of shopping with you, except grocery shopping.
Episode • Jan 11, 2015
When I move into Kody's room...
Episode • Jan 10, 2015
"#1 Logspliller"
Episode • Jan 9, 2015
American Horror Story. A primer.
Episode • Jan 8, 2015
Josh, not Josh...
Episode • Jan 7, 2015
The story of the 5 monkeys.
Episode • Jan 6, 2015
Dead guys blankets, stolen scissors and a really inappropriate gift...
Episode • Jan 5, 2015
Your hair color doesn't define you.
Episode • Jan 4, 2015
Legalized pot edibles.
Episode • Jan 3, 2015
What, does my breath smell?
Episode • Jan 2, 2015
Maybe I should start swearing in front of my kids.
Episode • Jan 1, 2015
There's a spray-painted starfruit in the corner...
Episode • Dec 31, 2014
I've always wanted to live somewhere where it snows.
Episode • Dec 30, 2014
If I stay (alternative endings)
Episode • Dec 29, 2014
I don't want some guy coming in treating my daughter like a Princess...
Episode • Dec 28, 2014
I was more chill because I'm used to "jump scares" and stuff.
Episode • Dec 27, 2014
The three words I can't stand people saying are the N-word, F-A-G, and retarded...
Episode • Dec 26, 2014
In a band, in people, what matters most? Character.
Episode • Dec 25, 2014
Will you always help me clean up my barf?
Episode • Dec 24, 2014
I used to have another Brother...
Episode • Dec 23, 2014
They'll finally accept you because you have colored hair.
Episode • Dec 22, 2014
Your vacation is not my vacation.
Episode • Dec 21, 2014
If there was a "Pretty Contest," I would probably win...
Episode • Dec 20, 2014
Deceiving people...
Episode • Dec 19, 2014
That was not a transition at all...
Episode • Dec 18, 2014
He's like the really old family dog...
Episode • Dec 17, 2014
If you are going to shoplift, don't shoplift crap.
Episode • Dec 16, 2014
This is going to be sarcastic, Isn't it?
Episode • Dec 15, 2014
You have to be 17 to cough in your dad's mouth... Everyone knows that.
Episode • Dec 14, 2014
Not a long more time...
Episode • Dec 13, 2014
"Rainy Day Lunch," by the way, would be a great name for a band.
Episode • Dec 12, 2014
So, have you done anything productive today?
Episode • Dec 11, 2014
Wow! Throwing shade...
Episode • Dec 10, 2014
Is there a Santa?
Episode • Dec 9, 2014
I'm 13, I know the truth of the world...
Episode • Dec 8, 2014
We saved Christmas
Episode • Dec 7, 2014
I don't want to talk about it...
Episode • Dec 6, 2014
My feet smell like Peaches and stuff... but not peaches.
Episode • Dec 5, 2014
Dad's advice on coping...
Episode • Dec 4, 2014
Cool time with buds...
Episode • Dec 3, 2014
Parents of the year...
Episode • Dec 2, 2014
She found the Motherload!
Episode • Dec 1, 2014
A picture of a lizard on a skateboard, a blowpop...
Episode • Nov 30, 2014
The Giver
Episode • Nov 29, 2014
The phone charging bra
Episode • Nov 28, 2014
Let me put makeup on my ladyface...
Episode • Nov 27, 2014
Anna Kendrick
Episode • Nov 26, 2014
Are you sure that's not one of the 1001 uses ?
Episode • Nov 25, 2014
But I do worry about money...
Episode • Nov 24, 2014
Neither chairs, nor a table, make Thanksgiving...
Episode • Nov 23, 2014
I'm just worried about mommy...
Episode • Nov 22, 2014
So that's where my tax dollars are going...
Episode • Nov 21, 2014
Diego is sooooooo cute
Episode • Nov 20, 2014
I was...ok with it...
Episode • Nov 19, 2014
Hugs...
Episode • Nov 18, 2014
Artichokes in Japanese
Episode • Nov 17, 2014
Doctor Who?
Episode • Nov 16, 2014
Something about cockroaches
Episode • Nov 15, 2014
Latest activity
Switch to the Fountain App
Not now
Open in Fountain
