Boundaries: How to set them and why they’re so important. 113
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Boundaries exist, regardless of whether we're conscious of them or not. The first place we experience them is in our own home, and the way they are created, managed and enforced can set us up for a lifetime of healthy relationships, or difficulty coping with other humans.
In this episode Susie and I discuss what a boundary is, how we uncover our own boundaries and create and uphold healthy ones within our own families.
It's a fascinating area for us parents who were raised in an era where the term barely existed, and the mental health issues that come with poor boundaries went unacknowledged.
We'd love to hear your feedback, ideas and questions. Email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com or send a text using the button at the top of the podcast notes.
SOURCES:
- https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/teens-health-boundaries/#:~:text=Healthy%20boundaries%20support%20adolescents'%20ability,and%20sometimes%20verbally%20as%20well.
- https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries#10-tips
- https://www.verywellhealth.com/setting-boundaries-5208802
Boundary Exercises from verywellhealth
When you set boundaries, you're communicating to others how you want and expect to be treated. Here are a few exercises that can help when you feel tongue-tied:
Use "I" statements:
- I feel ______ when _____ is said to me.
- When this happens______, I feel_____.
When you feel disrespected:
- I don't like the way I'm being spoken to right now.
- I would like to talk about this but now is not the right time.
- I would prefer to discuss this when we can be calmer about it.
Buy yourself some time:
- I'm not sure right now. Can I come to you once I've thought about it?
- I need more time to think, but I will get back to you.
When you want to say "no" with a little more explanation:
- I would love to, but my plate is really full right now.
- I would if I could, but I'm unable to help with that right now.
OtoZen — a new driving safety app
Are you worried about your teenager getting distracted behind the wheel?
The OtoZen app helps in real time — not just after something’s gone wrong. It has voice alerts, drive scores, and even safe driving challenges you can set together, it’s the kind of tech that actually helps your teen build better habits.
OtoZen — a new driving safety app
OtoZen helps build better habits in real time with voice alerts, drive scores, and safey challenges.
This episode is sponsored by OtoZen: The brilliant new driving safety app
https://www.otozen.com
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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk