"You can say, 'I look at porn 20 times a day', but that is inconsequential to me...The big question is 'Why?'" "You better damn well trust that therapist that you're sitting across from...You've got to feel safe to investigate shame." "In the context of relationships, we're all responsible to get our own needs met. That doesn't mean we go meet our own needs - we've seen how destructive that can be - but we do have to learn how to ask for those needs to be met." Kaka Ray returns to the podcast to discuss the importance of growing up your brain - it doesn't just happen but must be intentional. You can find out more about Kaka's practice at tnnfb.com.   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.