THE RETURN OF RUPHIO PHEONIX! Our favorite #Goon Ruphio disappeared from the internet over a year ago thanks to my bullying. I feel terrible, and want to make it up to him. We found Ruphio in the wilds of the internet, getting dragged by clam-brains in an "Incel Spotting" Facebook group. Well I don't think Ruphio is an incel. I believe he is simply what is referred to as a "Mall Ninja," which is sort of a Dungeons And Dragons variety of Tacticool. Imagine a guy in a wizard's robe but with an impractical shark-shaped, arm-mounted sword, and probably a fanny pack. Sure, there's a lot of crossover there, but with the help of my friend, the Incel King, Egg White, I will prove Ruphio Pheonix has gotten laid. PLUS: Ruphio himself gives his opinions on the gender spectrum and pedophiles, and Bryn Berg returns to deliver the most PHAMOUS Pheonix speech of all time.
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