With so many assholes in the news this week we couldn't wait two more episodes to throw some Sexy News atcha! Oklahoma declared "Open Season" on Bigfoot, a woman demonstrated an impeccably malleable orifice, the world's dumbest murder may have happened in Florida and we're tongue kissing it all!  So, later in the month when we do "Sexy March Stories", just wink at us and pretend that we didn't already do that, okay?