Trump unveils luxurious new immigration plan selling "gold cards" to wealthy foreigners for five million dollars each, promising citizenship to "very nice" Russian oligarchs. Meanwhile, over two hundred fifty thousand Canadians sign petition to revoke Elon Musk's citizenship after he declared "Canada is not a real country" on social media. All this as JD Vance's hometown paper eviscerates him as a "lapdog vice-president," Fyre Festival scammer returns with mysterious million-dollar tickets to a show with no announced acts, and California's perfectly-coiffed governor launches a podcast where he'll interview "MAGA architects." Patrick Gutfield delivers these headlines with his signature razor-sharp commentary and zero sympathy for politicians or their hair products.